Choices
by InfinityStar
Summary: When Eames gets married, she sets herself and her partner on a winding path of self discovery that eventually leads them to where they were meant to be all along.
1. Troubling News

Disclaimer: They belong to Dick Wolf. Always have, always will.

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A/N: Ok, so this is what happens when you finish packing up your house over thirty-six hours on little sleep, listening to Air Supply the whole time. It's somewhat different from what I usually write…hope you guys don't think it's too bad.

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Jimmy Deakins walked slowly to the door of his office and looked out across the squad room. His eyes came to rest on Goren and Eames. Goren was smiling, which was nice to see, and Eames was laughing. Over ten years now they had been partners. He had never seen the like. More than partners, they had become best friends. Nothing had ever come between that friendship…not marriage, not family, nothing.

The last few years had been hard ones for the partners, personally. But through the turmoil their personal lives had become, their friendship had remained steadfast, their partnership, untouched. And now that things had settled within their lives, it was a relief for Deakins to see them happy and relaxed.

He was entirely unsure of how to approach Eames with the news he had just received. He had no idea how she would react. But Goren would know. "Goren," he called.

The big cop looked up at him. Deakins motioned for him to come into the office. He didn't miss the look and the smile he gave his partner as he got up and headed for the office.

When he came out of the office, there was no trace of a smile on his troubled features. He walked up behind his partner, placed his hands on her petite shoulders and leaned down. "Let's go for a walk."

"Why?"

"Just come on, Alex."

She frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Please."

She got to her feet and walked with her partner from the squad room. Mike Logan got up from his desk and went into Deakins' office. When he returned to his desk, he leaned toward his longtime partner, Carolyn Barek, and said quietly, "Ricky was killed this morning."

Ricky Waters was Eames' ex-husband, serving time at Rikers for aggravated assault and attempted murder. They had been married four-and-a half years; the divorce had been finalized four months ago. The marriage, simply put, had not survived the partnership, leaving Eames with a three-year-old daughter and six months pregnant with her second child.


	2. The Wedding

She had been a beautiful bride. Sure, people always thought brides were beautiful, but in his eyes, there were none that could surpass her. The reception was in full swing, and he was off by himself, sitting quietly, just watching the activity around him.

A voice brought him from his thoughts. "Hey, Goren. You doing okay?"

He turned his head to look at the man who'd dropped into the chair beside him. Mike Logan wore a very serious expression for a change. He was genuinely concerned. Goren nodded after a minute. "I'm okay."

"You don't look it."

"Oh? How do I look?"

"Like you've lost your best friend."

He turned away. That was exactly how he felt. He never thought he'd see this day, her marrying someone else; he never thought he'd have to share her with anyone. But before Logan could say any more, the bride had approached them. "Hi, boys."

Logan smiled. "Hey, gorgeous."

Goren wouldn't look her in the eye. "Hi, Eames."

"Would you excuse us please, Mike?"

"Sure thing." He nudged Goren's shoulder. "I'll talk to you later."

Goren just nodded at him, and his partner pulled a chair up close to his and sat down. She had changed from her gown into a casual dress. She still looked great. "What, no kiss for the bride?" she teased.

He wasn't in the mood to be teased, not even by her, but he wasn't about to ruin her day, either. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. She frowned. "Bobby, what's wrong?"

Finally he looked at her. "You have to ask?"

She reached out and gently stroked his cheek. "Nothing has changed," she said softly.

"Nothing, and everything."

"Look at me, Goren." She took his face in both her hands. "You're still my partner and my best friend. Nothing will ever change that." He didn't reply, and his face didn't change. "Look, we're taking off now, but I had to talk to you. I know you, and I want you to be ok with this."

"Are you happy?"

"Yes, I am."

"Then I'm okay."

She didn't believe him. "I'll be back in two weeks. What are you going to do?"

"Don't worry about me. I'll keep busy."

"Take care of yourself, you big ape. We'll have dinner when I get back, okay?" He just nodded. Leaning closer, she kissed him softly and touched her forehead to his. "See you in two weeks."

He watched her leave and closed his eyes. Damn. He needed another drink.

* * *

Logan and Barek found him about an hour later, sitting alone on a balcony with a drink, watching the night sky. His tie was off, folded neatly on the arm of the chair he was sitting in. His jacket was draped on the back of another chair. They sat on either side of him. Logan looked up at the sky. "What are you looking at?"

"Just the stars."

"Can't see too many of 'em."

Goren just shrugged. Both detectives could tell the drink in his hand was not his first. "You okay?" Logan asked.

"I'm okay," he answered without much conviction.

"You know you go to hell for lying, Bobby," Barek said.

He shook his head. "I'm already there."

Several hours later, Logan took him home.


	3. Nothing and Everything

Two weeks later, Eames returned to work. The first thing she did was approach Barek and Logan. "Well, look at you," Logan grinned, leaning back in his chair. "I don't know if it's marriage or Bermuda that agrees with you, but you look great."

She smiled at him, but her eyes were troubled. "Where's Bobby?"

"He went on leave when you did. Why?"

"Do you know where he went?"

Logan nodded. "He took off upstate. He'll be back tomorrow."

"Oh." She didn't look relieved. "Thanks."

Logan and Barek exchanged puzzled looks. Barek got up and went over to Eames' desk. "What's up?"

"I'm just worried about him. I've tried calling and he hasn't answered."

"You called him from Bermuda? Don't tell me you took him on your honeymoon."

"What are you talking about? Of course not."

"Not physically, silly. But he was with you, wasn't he?"

"He's always with me, Carolyn."

"And how does your husband handle that?"

"He's not happy about it, but he's a cop. He knows how it is."

"Does he really? Does he know the connection you have with your partner? It's not a usual partner relationship. Hell, when I go home I'm glad to be rid of my partner for awhile. I've never seen that with you and Bobby. You guys never seemed to handle being apart all that well. Not many men are that understanding."

Eames smiled. "He knew when he proposed how I feel about my partner. I love my husband, but Bobby is important to me, too. Ricky has to accept that."

Barek asked, "Have you discussed this with Bobby? Are you sure he knows how you feel?"

"After all this time, he'd better. Why?"

She shook her head. "Maybe it would be a good idea if you talked to him when he gets back. He…had a hard time after the wedding."

Eames looked at her partner's empty chair. "Damn. I was afraid he might."

"It's ok, Alex. We took care of him."

"He needed taking care of? Carolyn, are you sure he's ok?"

"I talked to him yesterday, and Mike saw him this weekend. Yes, he's ok."

Eames was grateful that Logan and Barek had been there for him, but she didn't understand another emotion that cropped up…one that made her feel guilty that she wasn't the one who had taken care of him. That had always been her job, taking care of her partner when his emotions got the better of him. Now her marriage had taken that away. What was that he had said about what had changed…_Nothing…and everything_. She wondered just what parts of their relationship fit into each category.

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Goren was at his desk when Eames came in the next morning. She had tried calling him the night before but he had not answered his phone. She walked around to her desk and smiled at him. "Good morning."

He smiled back at her. "Welcome back."

"How was your time off?"

"It was ok."

She didn't like the way he looked. He was tired…and something else she couldn't quite put a finger on; he wouldn't look her in the eye. "Where'd you go?" she asked.

"No place special. How was Bermuda?"

"Fine."

He finally met her eyes. "I'm glad you're back."

She smiled. "So am I. Believe it or not, I missed you."

He wasn't sure he believed it, but it was nice to hear her say it. He had missed her a great deal. He was uneasy about his relationship with her now, but he'd never let her know that. He didn't want to be the cause of any tension between her and her husband. He had no idea that he already was.


	4. Unreasonable Demands

Ricky walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He sat at the table across from his wife. Six months they'd been married and they were finally feeling settled in their new home, a nice three bedroom split level not far from where her parents lived. He was glad to get her out of that apartment and away from the city…and further away from that partner of hers. "It's nine o'clock. How come you're still here?" he asked.

"Late day. I don't have to be in until after lunch."

"What about Goren?"

"What about him? He'll be there, probably before I get there."

He decided to approach the subject he'd been stewing over for the past few weeks. "Alex, there's something I'd like you to do for me."

"Okay. What?"

"I'd like you to put in a transfer request."

She stared at him. "A what?"

"A transfer request. Work homicide, or even narcotics. I want you to transfer out of Major Case."

She stared at him, carefully controlling the anger that began to broil in her gut. "Why, Ricky?"

"I would feel better."

"And what about me? I happen to like Major Case. I've been there for six years and I like the cases we get. I am happy with my job and I'm happy with my co-workers. A lot of people can't say that."

"It's not the job I object to."

Now they were getting down to it. "It's Bobby, isn't it?"

"You have no idea what they say…"

"Why does it matter what anyone says? We never cared about that. Why do you?"

Now he was getting angry. "I don't like people coming to me and asking me how I can let my wife work with him. I don't like anyone telling me that my wife is sleeping with another man!"

_Let_ her? She could feel her hold on her anger slipping. "When the hell would I have time to sleep with him? I come home after work, to you. When we are working a case, we're usually around other people."

"And when you're not?"

"We're _working_, you ass."

"What about your weekly dinner with him?"

"We eat at a restaurant, Ricky! Besides, he wouldn't."

Ricky's eyes narrowed. "They say he loves you."

"They say a lot of things. Bobby has always been a target for gossip."

"You're not going to deny it?"

"Deny what? That he loves me?" She sighed impatiently. No, she wasn't going to deny it because she knew it was true. But she had to defuse her husband's anger or they'd get into another major argument and she just wasn't in the mood. "We have been over this a hundred times, Ricky. I told you all about him when we were dating. You've met Bobby and you've seen us together. Just because people have nothing better to do than gossip does not make the things they say true."

She got up and put her coffee cup in the sink. She headed out of the room but he called her back. "Tell me something, Alex. If I laid it out for you and told you to make a choice, what would you do?"

"Are you telling me to choose between you and my partner?"

"Not yet."

"If you're smart, you never will. I'll see you tonight."

He heard the front door close and he slammed his cup on the table. It broke into a dozen pieces.

* * *

She sat in the car for a few minutes, shaking with anger. How dare he! What the hell was his problem? She started the car and backed out of the driveway. She had come to realize he had a problem with her partner after they'd been married for a few months, and she had done her best to reassure him. He'd heard the rumors before he proposed, and they never seemed to matter then. Maybe he thought that if she married him, he could control her and get her out of Major Case. Well, that just wasn't going to happen. She did love her job. The cases they worked were challenging and working with her partner was always interesting. If he was nothing else, Goren was unpredictable. And that brilliant mind of his was always working; she never knew what he was going to come up with next.

By the time she parked the car, she was talking to herself. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to calm down. If she went into 1 PP like this, they'd be starting rumors about _her_. She got into the elevator and pushed 11. When she finally got to the squad room, she felt more under control. She looked at the time. Eleven o'clock. Well, at least she was there before… "What are you doing here, Goren?"

He turned to look at her. "I work here."

"You know what I mean. We aren't due in until after lunch."

"You're here," he pointed out.

She dropped into her seat. "Oh, just shut up."

He leaned forward. "What's wrong?"

She was actually glad to see him slowly returning to normal. It was two months before he'd started joking with her again. He was gradually feeling more comfortable, and reassured, in their friendship again. It had taken a lot of time and work on her part to finally get him to begin unwinding. "I'm sorry. I just had a bad morning."

The look on his face turned dark, but he didn't say anything. The last time he'd pressed her for details it had taken days for him to calm himself down. He didn't like the way her husband treated her, but there was not a damn thing he could do about it. So reluctantly, he withdrew himself from that part of her life, neither seeking details nor offering comfort, and that was killing him. She reacted just as badly to his attempts at comfort as she did to unsolicited advice from others. He'd seen her snap at Barek for asking why she put up with her husband's jealous fits, and it still bothered him that he even _had_ jealous fits. He was at a loss over what to do to help make her life easier. What he didn't realize was that he did help make her life easier, just by being part of it.

* * *

By the end of the day, her mood was better. He even got her to laugh a few times. Then she looked at the clock and saw how close it was to the end of the day. She sighed. Time passed too quickly these days. He leaned forward over his desk, resting his chin on his hands, looking at her. She couldn't help but smile. There was one of those little boy things he did that always reminded her of why she loved him. "What?" she asked.

"You're stating to get agitated."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm not stupid, Eames."

"That is something no one has ever accused you of. I know what you're thinking, and I'm asking you to drop it. Okay?"

He sighed. "Okay. But promise me something?"

"What?" That came out much snippier than she intended, but he didn't react.

"Please promise me that you'll call me if you need me."

She just looked at him. His dark curls were slowly being claimed by the gray that climbed up from his temples, but his eyes never lost that nebulous little boy glimmer. Even when he was being sincere, it was still there. The only time she had ever seen it disappear was when she got married. She was glad to see it back.

Mimicking his posture, she looked into those eyes and she smiled. It was the first time all day she had not felt like her life was out of control. As much as they had always said she grounded him, lately he was the one who was being her anchor. When she felt things beginning to get out of control, all she had to do was talk to her partner. "I promise," she said, and she meant it.


	5. Poolroom Reflections

The cue ball rolled across the felt and exploded into the racked balls. Two of them disappeared from sight, one into each corner pocket. "Damn," Mike Logan muttered. "You drop at least one of those damn balls every time you break."

"You have a problem with that?" Goren grinned.

"Hell, yeah. I only beat you that one time, and that was only because you couldn't see straight."

The big cop laughed. Logan smiled. It was good to see him relaxed and laughing again. He'd really been a mess when Eames got married. She'd spent the past eight months working on getting her partner back to normal and Logan was relieved to see that she'd succeeded, mostly. There were still times…times that Logan saw but no one else did…when Goren wasn't ok. Every Friday night, the two men went out, Logan looking for fun and Goren looking for peace. Then Logan saw the restless anxiety Goren hid from his partner. And Logan saw his pain. That came through loud and clear after too many drinks. He still had a hard time with his partner's marriage, and he couldn't find any peace in life outside the job, a fact he hid well from her. No matter what he did, he was unable to find what he sought.

Logan had found there was a fine line in dealing with Goren. After he'd had a certain amount to drink, he would open up and talk to him. Once he got past that point, talking was useless and before that point, he wouldn't talk much at all. Logan still struggled to find that line, sometimes getting there, sometimes missing it. Goren was no help at all. He kept switching what he was drinking so there was no way for Logan to gauge how close he was, sometimes, until it was too late. But he kept trying.

Logan picked his drink up off the bar. "I swear if you clear the table again, I'll hit you with this stick, Goren."

Goren lined up a shot. "A quarter a ball too rich for you, Mike?"

"Only when I play you."

He missed the shot, and Logan got the impression it was intentional. He glared at Goren before turning his attention to the table. Two shots later, it was Goren's turn again. Logan leaned against the wall and watched him. He was willing to bet that if Eames had settled into a happy marriage, Goren would have eventually been fine with it. But Eames wasn't happy. Caught up in a whirlwind romance, she had accepted Ricky's proposal before she really knew the man. Now she had to deal with his anger and jealousy, and she was miserable. She tried to hide it from her partner, but that was damn near impossible. Goren was too good at what he did, and he knew his partner too well. Hell, even he could see that there were problems. He noticed how she would put off leaving at the end of the day, and Goren always waited with her until she was ready to go. She went out a few times a month with Barek, and his partner confided in him some of the things Eames told her. He had a hard time not telling Goren, but he'd given his word. Ricky had major problems with his wife's partner, and that caused a lot of trouble in the marriage. Only two things kept him from telling his friend what was going on with Eames. The first thing was that he had no clue how Goren would react, and that worried him enough to keep quiet. The other was that Eames didn't want him to know, probably for that same reason.

He swore when Goren sank the eight ball. "Damn it, Bobby. Throw me a bone here and let me win at least once in awhile."

The big cop smiled as he racked the balls again and Logan chalked up. He caught the cue ball Goren tossed to him and lined up his breaking shot. Leaning against the bar, Goren took a drink from his beer then asked, "What would you think if I got married, Mike?"

The little white ball went flying over the racked balls and Logan glared at him. "You did that on purpose."

Goren retrieved the cue ball. "Sorry. Go ahead and take another shot."

"Damn straight I will. Where the hell did that come from? Why would you want to get married?"

"I get tired of being alone."

"So you get a roommate or a puppy. You don't friggin' get married." He lined up the break and Goren kept silent while he made the shot. One ball dropped into the left corner pocket. "A marriage does best if there's passion, you know."

"Yeah, I guess."

Logan lined up his next shot, raising his eyes to look at Goren. "You're not thinking of getting married, are you?"

"No. I just wanted to know what you thought."

He straightened up. "Honestly?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not being an ass, Bobby, but if you ever get married, unless you're going to marry Eames, it's not going to work."

Goren leaned his chin on his hands, resting on top of his cue stick. Logan saw the shadow cross his face. But he felt he had to be honest with him. He knew there was no passion in his friend's heart for anyone or anything but the job and his partner. He leaned down again to line up his shot. Another ball disappeared from sight and he walked around the table. He stopped by Goren. "I really think that."

"Yeah. I know."

"You know what I'm saying then?"

"Yeah, I do. Thanks for being honest. I needed to hear that."

"She really hurt you, didn't she?"

"Who?"

"Your partner, stupid. When she got married."

"Take your shot, Logan."

"I thought so." Whenever he broached a subject Goren didn't want to discuss, he changed the subject, and Logan learned quickly to take the hint. The only time Goren had ever punched him was when he had pressed too hard and too long after too many drinks. Now he knew when to back off and he did.

He missed the shot and stepped away. Married? What had put that thought in his head? "Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to be you, you know? It makes my head hurt."

That made Goren laugh and miss his shot. Logan laughed as well. "I'd let you retake that shot but I'm not stupid."

Good-naturedly, Goren backed away from the table, letting Logan shoot. This time around, Logan was the one to sink the eight ball. "There's your bone, Mike."

Logan laughed and swung his cue stick at Goren, who easily caught it. Logan set the table up for the next players while Goren put the sticks in their rack. They both stepped up to the bar. Logan looked at his friend. "I finally decided it would suck being you."

"Welcome to my world," Goren muttered as he finished his beer and signaled for another.


	6. Birthday Plans

Logan looked across the table at his partner as the waitress set their plates in front of them. Once she was gone, he said, "How was your night out with Eames the other day?"

"Ok. Most of the time I just don't know what to say, but it's good for her to get it out. There's no way she can tell Bobby half the stuff she tells me. He'd lose it."

"That bad, huh?" He hesitated for a moment before asking about a thought that had him troubled. "He doesn't hit her, does he?"

"Hit her? No. He's not suicidal. If she didn't kick his ass, she'd shoot him. I don't know what Goren would do, and that's not something I'd even want to think about."

"I know what he'd do, and it wouldn't be pretty…"

She mixed the gravy into her potatoes. "How is Bobby?"

"There's no easy answer to that question. Sometimes he seems fine. Other times, well, he's not. He knows she's unhappy and he's powerless to do a damn thing about it. You know him well enough to know how that sits with him."

"So what do we do?"

"We? What _can_ we do?"

Barek looked thoughtful. "I was thinking…"

"That's never a good thing."

"Don't be an ass. You know what Sunday is?"

"Uh…the 20th. Why?"

"It's Bobby's birthday."

"Okay, and?"

"Are you really as dense as you pretend to be? We take him out for his birthday…all three of us."

"That won't sit well with Ricky at all."

"Just leave that to Alex and me. You get Bobby to the club and I'll make sure Alex gets there."

"Club? Do we have to go to a club?"

"What's wrong with clubbing? You like it."

"I do. He doesn't."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"I took him clubbing once, and I won't make that mistake again."

"Why? What happened?"

"I met this great girl—man, she knew how to party. While I was…preoccupied, he took off. Took me two hours to find him, and I never saw her again."

"Why did you have to go looking for him? He knows his way around the city."

"Yeah, he does, which is why it took me so damn long to find him. It was a month or two after the wedding and she would have found out what a rough time he was having if he'd gotten his ass arrested."

She understood that. "So what do you suggest we do?"

"There's a small pool hall we like to go to. He plays a mean game of pool. Maybe with Eames there I'd stand a chance of winning a game or two."

"It's not about you, idiot. It's his birthday."

"We could ride the subway all night and he'd be happy if it meant he could spend time with her. He likes playing pool. I promise."

"Ok, then. You get him to the pool hall and I'll bring her."

"You sure Ricky's gonna let her out of his sight? I mean he doesn't like Goren to start with."

"I'll handle it. He can't object if I don't tell her why we're going out. She's just going out with me. He seems okay with girls' night out."

"But on Sunday?"

"Why do men have to make things so difficult?"

"Men? Ah, never mind…"

She smiled. "Smart move, Logan."

* * *

Ricky watched his wife get dressed to go out. "You sure this is just a night out with Carolyn?"

"What else would it be? I don't lie to you, Ricky."

He seemed appeased by that. "You know you have work tomorrow."

"Which is why I'm staying with Carolyn tonight in the city. What is your problem? You never worry about me getting to work any other time."

"Yeah, well, just make sure you stay with Carolyn."

"Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are, telling me what to do like that?"

"Your husband, that's who. I don't want you spending any more time with him than you already do."

"Him? Is this about Bobby again? Damn it, Ricky! This insane jealousy of yours has got to stop. I have never given you reason not to trust me." The doorbell rang as she got right in his face. "If I wanted to sleep with my partner, there is nothing you could do to stop me."

With that, she turned and left, grabbing her overnight bag and slamming the door. Ricky went to the window and watched his wife walk to the car with Barek and get in. Why did he feel so insecure every time she left his sight? He had no idea why he felt so threatened by Goren. He could blame the rumors, but it was more than that. Why couldn't he trust his wife?

Barek looked at Eames. It wasn't hard to see she was angry. "You had trouble getting away?"

"No more than usual. I just had to listen to more of his crap. He's so damn insecure and I don't know why. Thank God we're not going out with Bobby tonight."

"Why?"

"Never mind. It doesn't matter." She looked out the window for a minute. "You know, Bobby never treats me like this."

"He's not your husband."

"Too bad," she grumbled.

Barek looked at her, surprised. "What? What the hell do you mean by that?"

Eames slumped down in her seat miserably. "It's been over a year, Carolyn, and I don't know…I'm beginning to think I married the wrong man. When we were dating Ricky was fun, and he never had a problem with my work or my partner. Everything changed after the wedding. Now every time I turn around, we're fighting, and it's usually about Bobby. I mean, Bobby can be difficult, and he frustrates the hell out of me sometimes, but he always treats me right."

Barek nodded. "He always will." She changed traffic lanes and said, "Uh, about tonight, Alex…I wasn't exactly honest with you."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you know what day today is?"

She thought about it for a moment before it dawned on her. "Bobby's birthday. Oh, damn, I forgot. I should have called him this afternoon…"

"Relax. He and Mike are waiting for us…well, Mike is, anyway. Bobby has no idea we're coming."

"And you didn't tell me…"

"…so you wouldn't have to lie to your husband," Barek grinned.

Eames smiled. "Thanks, Carolyn." She liked surprising her partner, and she was looking forward to seeing him. As her churning emotions settled, she realized that she really wanted to see him tonight, and the hell with her husband and his damn insecurities.


	7. Just Right

Goren and Logan were halfway through a game when Barek and Eames arrived at the pool hall. Eames stood by the door for a minute, watching them. Barek looked at her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. He looks…relaxed."

"He and Mike come here a lot. Come on."

Goren was bent over the table, ready to take a shot, when a hand came to rest on his back. He turned his head, surprised. He set down the cue and propped his head on his hand, elbow on the table, grinning at his partner. "What are you doing here?" he asked, clearly pleased to see her.

"I couldn't let your birthday go by without seeing you, could I?"

"I'd have understood," he said softly.

"I know you would have. That's another reason I came." She leaned over and gently kissed him. "Happy birthday." He just smiled at her, and she wondered what he was thinking, but she wasn't brave enough to ask. "Go ahead and take your shot, Goren," she said with a smile, moving over to stand by Barek and Logan.

Logan groaned when the ball slid into the side pocket. "You're killing me, Goren."

He missed the next shot, and Logan picked up his cue stick. "I never know if you miss those shots on purpose or not."

"You're not supposed to know."

He leaned against the wall next to his partner and crossed his arms. Logan looked at him for a second before turning his attention to the table. Eames leaned closer and softly asked, "Do you really miss on purpose?"

"Sometimes."

She smiled. Logan sank his shot and then two more. "You're on a roll," Goren said.

Logan pointed his cue stick at him. "You jinx me and I swear I'll knock the shit out of you, birthday or not."

Goren didn't look worried. Barek shook her head at her partner. "Competitive much, Mike?"

"I need an edge to keep up with him."

Three shots later he sank the eight ball. Goren handed him a few coins and racked the balls for another game. Logan pointed toward the cue stand. "Ladies, choose your weapons."

Barek grinned. "Do we get to hit you with them?"

"Very funny. For that you can choose sides."

She looked at her partner critically. "I guess I'll try teaming with you. I can't make your game much worse."

"Ouch, Barek."

She turned to choose her cue and Logan smiled at Eames. "You have any preferences?"

She smiled. She was simply glad to be there. "I'm game for whatever."

He raised his eyebrows slightly and said, "Glad to hear that."

Goren and Eames easily won the game. Logan stared at the petite cop. "You play almost as well as he does. Where'd you learn to play like that?"

"I have four brothers, Mike. I can play just about any game."

"I'll bet you can." He chalked his cue as Barek set the balls up. "Let's make this interesting. How about playing for shots instead of quarters?"

Goren raised his eyebrows. "Last time we did that I had to carry you home."

"That's why I want Eames as my partner this game."

Goren looked at his partner. "It's up to you."

"Okay. Are you ready for a challenge?"

He smiled, and she was pleased to see the challenge in his eyes. "You're on."

Logan set up the shots and leaned toward Eames. "I'm really gonna be upset if I have to go in to work hung over tomorrow."

"This was your idea."

"Yeah, but I'm counting on you to whip his ass."

"I don't think I'm that good."

"I guess we'll see."

Barek said, "Quit plotting, you two. By the way, Einstein, how the hell are we going to get home if none of us can drive?"

"I don't live far. We can walk to my place. How do you think Goren and I get home half the time?"

While Logan took the breaking shot, Goren leaned against the bar and watched his partner. Laughing and smiling, she looked relaxed and happy. It was almost possible for him to convince himself that she _was_ happy. It never occurred to him that, when she was with him, she really was happy, and so was he.

* * *

A game and a half later, Eames decided to mess with her partner. She was tired of having to down more shots than he was. So she walked behind him when he was lining up a shot and gently bumped his cue stick. He looked at her, but she just smiled at him. He went back to his shot, and she drew his attention from the game by laughing as he drew his stick back. Again, he looked at her, and she smiled. Logan and Barek just sat back and watched. The smiles and laughter, the playfulness…it was like old times. Neither had seen Eames this happy in way too long. Goren, too, was relaxed and smiled easily.

The third time she interfered with his shot, he slammed down the cue stick and chased her down, catching her on the far side of the table, near the cue rack. He backed her against the wall and trapped her there. "Are you going to let me take this shot?" he asked.

She was laughing too hard to answer, so he waited. Finally catching her breath, she looked into his face. "You can take your shot anytime," she answered innocently.

He hesitated for a moment before he leaned closer and kissed her. Surprised, she raised a hand and gently laid it on his cheek, allowing his kiss. He smiled before turning back to the table. He missed the shot anyway.

* * *

When Goren woke up in the morning, he was alone, hungover and entirely uncertain of how he ended up in Logan's bed. He got up and showered. He had spent enough nights on Logan's couch that he kept a clean suit there, so he dressed and went into the kitchen to make coffee. Asleep on the couch, Logan woke up to the noise in the kitchen and groaned. "What the hell are you doing out there?"

"Just making coffee."

"Damn. Do it quietly, will ya? I didn't want to go in to work like this."

"Hey, it was your idea to play for shots."

"Next time I suggest that on a work night, shoot me." He looked at Goren. "Look at you. You have to be hung over."

"I am."

"I hate how you can function like that." He got up and headed for the shower. "Where's Eames?"

"I don't know. She wasn't here when I got up. Did she leave with Barek last night?"

Logan came back down the hall and looked at him. Well, damn, he didn't remember…or was he just blocking it out…to protect himself? "She must have. Give me twenty minutes and I'll be ready to go."

On they way in to the squad room, Goren asked, "How did I end up in the bed?"

Logan considered how best to answer. Finally he said, "That's where you passed out and I wasn't about to try moving you, so I just left you there."

The big cop accepted his answer. "Sorry," he said.

"Forget it." Whether Goren remembered it or not, last night had been worth it. Logan couldn't remember having more fun together like that in a very long time. And seeing Goren and Eames together…well, everything had seemed just right.


	8. Uncertainty

Eames was late coming back from lunch, and Goren started getting restless. On his way to the coffee pot, Logan passed him and said, "Relax. So she's a little late."

"She's not usually late."

"Take a pill, Goren. What the hell is up with you?"

"I don't know. She just seems…out of sorts lately."

"You worry too much. Look, there she is now, safe and sound."

Goren shot him an annoyed look as he went on his way to get coffee. Eames sat down at her desk, looking a little pale. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Not now, Bobby."

He let the matter drop because she asked him to, but his anxiety increased and so did his restlessness, which annoyed her. "Will you sit still?" she snapped, halfway through the afternoon.

"Sorry," he muttered.

When the day came to an end, she left right away, which was also unusual for her. Logan came over and leaned against Goren's desk. "What's up with her?"

"She won't tell me."

"That's not good."

No, it wasn't. Something was bothering her, and he knew he wouldn't be able to settle down until he knew what.

* * *

Eames got home shortly before Ricky did. She made herself a light dinner and was just sitting down to eat when he came in. "You're home early tonight," he said.

"We're between cases. I need to talk to you, though."

"Ok." He sat down across from her. "What's up?"

"I went to the doctor at lunch today because I haven't been feeling well."

"Everything okay?"

"Fine. I…I'm pregnant, Ricky."

He stared at her. "You're what?"

"Pregnant. I'm due in May."

"I thought we agreed we weren't going to have kids."

"No, _you_ agreed we weren't going to have kids. I did no such thing."

"So you just decided all on your own to have a baby?"

"Can't you ever be reasonable? Why is everything always about you? In case you missed high school biology classes, it takes two to make a baby. That's you _and_ me, asshole."

She got up from the table, leaving her dinner untouched, and locked herself in one of the spare bedrooms. She refused to come back out and was gone by the time he got up in the morning.

* * *

Goren was surprised to see Eames at her desk when he came in. She almost never got there before he did. He dropped into his chair and looked at her, concerned. She looked upset, and he could tell she had been crying. His stomach flipped, and he fought down the anger that began to form. "Eames?"

"Let's go get some breakfast, Bobby."

"Okay." He didn't know what else to say.

They walked along the sidewalk away from the headquarters building. Letting her take the initiative, he remained silent as he watched her. "Stop looking at me, Goren."

He looked away, watching the sidewalk, not commenting on her snippiness. "I'm sorry," she said after awhile. "I just…I'm not sure how I feel right now."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She noticed how tentative he was. "Yes, I do." She was quiet for another half a block. "I went to the doctor at lunch yesterday. That's why I was late. Bobby, I'm pregnant."

"Oh," was all he said. They had crossed the street before he noticed she was crying. He stepped over to stand against a nearby building, out of pedestrian traffic, gently guiding her along with him. He pulled her into his arms and held her. He didn't have to ask what was wrong. It had to be her husband. She had always wanted children of her own and had loved being pregnant with her nephew. It wasn't the pregnancy that had her upset. He didn't know what else to do but hold her. So that's all he did.

* * *

Two weeks later, following a holiday custom they had established the year she got married, the four partners got together for Thanksgiving dinner. This year, it was at Barek's apartment. Logan and Barek had both noticed a change in Goren and Eames over the past two weeks. Logan tried to get Goren to tell him what was wrong but all he would say was that it was up to Eames to explain. It troubled Logan that Goren was withdrawing from those around him, and he hated not knowing why.

During the dinner preparation, he was relieved a little to see Goren and Eames relax some, but they were nothing like they had been three months ago on his birthday. Barek checked on the turkey as Eames mashed potatoes.

Goren set out a couple of bottles of sparkling apple cider. Logan picked up one of the bottles. "Apple cider?" He looked at Goren. "What the hell?"

Goren just glared at him. Logan knew that look and he set the bottle back on the table and said nothing more. He wandered into the kitchen. "Anything I can help with?"

"Get the rolls out of the fridge and put them on a cookie sheet. The turkey is almost ready to come out."

He squeezed past Eames. "You need a bigger kitchen."

Barek answered, "Ok, Mike. I'll move to a bigger apartment to accommodate you once a year."

"Just an observation." He pulled a cylinder of rolls from the fridge and a cookie sheet from the cabinet closest to the stove. Popping the rolls open, he grinned. "I love these containers."

"Anything that explodes, huh, Mike?" Eames said with a grin.

"You got it, sweetheart."

Eames covered the potatoes and set the pot at the back of the stove to keep warm. She stepped out of the kitchen and noticed her partner sitting on the couch. He was thinking. She walked into the living room and sat beside him. "Penny for your thoughts," she said.

He shook his head. "You don't want to go there," he replied.

"Probably not, but I will anyway."

He smiled and kissed her cheek. "I think you know what I'm thinking."

She watched him get up and walk into the kitchen. Barek handed him two oven mitts and pointed to the stove. "The turkey's ready to come out."

Eames stood by the kitchen doorway, watching him take the turkey from the oven and set it on the stove. She did know what he was thinking, what he had been thinking about for the past two weeks. She never had to tell him how Ricky had reacted to her pregnancy. He knew, and it made him angry. That much she could tell. Beyond that, she wasn't sure what he was feeling. He didn't seem upset by the fact that she was pregnant, other having the same unsettled response to needing a temporary partner when she went on maternity leave. She hadn't discussed it much with him, but there was time for that. If Ricky was going to be an ass, she knew that it was her partner she would have to turn to if she needed anything. She had no doubt he would be there for her.

Goren carved the turkey when Barek asked him to, and Logan opened the cranberry sauce and helped Barek and Eames put the rest of the food into serving dishes. The rolls came out of the oven ten minutes later and they sat down to eat. Once everyone was settled, Eames spoke up. "I have something to say," she said tentatively.

Logan and Barek looked at her expectantly. Goren met her eyes, silently offering her his support. She smiled at him, then looked at the other couple. "Two weeks ago, I went to the doctor and found out I am pregnant."

They looked at one another, then at Goren, who had returned his attention to his plate. Logan looked at the cider in his glass. "Well, that explains why we're drinking cider. How do you feel about it?"

"I'm still not sure."

Goren muttered, "Her husband isn't too happy."

"Asshole," Logan grumbled. Then he looked surprised that he'd actually said that out loud. "Sorry, Eames."

Barek sighed and said, "If you need us, Alex, just call. Okay?"

Eames smiled. "Thanks. I just may need you…all three of you."

Logan just nodded, watching Goren. "Bobby? Your turkey is not that interesting. How do you feel about this?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm not involved."

"The hell you're not."

Quietly, Eames said, "It does matter. I'd like to know."

He felt backed into a corner. Carefully wording his response, he met her eyes and said, "I'm glad you're finally having a baby of your own. And I'm sorry the circumstances are less than what you expected. But you know where to find me if you need me."

And that was all he needed to say. Bringing a baby into an already rocky marriage was not the best of plans. They all knew that. And having this baby further trapped her in her marriage. She found herself hoping Ricky would turn around after the baby was born, but deep down, she knew that wasn't going to happen…and it worried her.


	9. Springtime in the Park

Eames had a healthy and uneventful pregnancy. Her father or her sister accompanied her to her maternity appointments, and she asked Goren to take her twice. She always tried to include Ricky first, even though he wanted nothing to do with the entire process. He was still angry with her for getting pregnant in the first place and he constantly told her that since she got herself into that condition, she could deal with it herself. He refused to acknowledge that he had even had a hand in it, since he hadn't wanted kids at all.

During her first week of maternity leave, Eames became bored and restless, so she called Barek, to see if she was interested in getting together with their partners and keeping her company. There was no way she was going to have anyone, most especially not her partner, at her house when Ricky got home after his shift ended at three, so they made arrangements to go out.

Late April in the city is a nice time of year and it was nice outside. It was Saturday, and no active cases were being investigated, so no one had to go in to work. Since Eames wanted to spend time outside, they went to Central Park.

Barek picked Eames up at her house and they met Goren and Logan at the park. When they got there, they found them in the middle of a rough game of one-on-one football. Barek laughed. "You need to watch this."

"There's only two of them. What's the objective?"

"Well, the guy who receives the ball has to get it past the other one without getting tackled. Sounds simple, but it can get really rough. You know how competitive Mike gets. Bobby can get just as rough. This is good for them—they don't hold back at all."

"Do they ever get hurt?"

"Sometimes. Mike sprained his ankle once, and Bobby damn near broke his arm. Usually it's bruises or minor bloodshed—laceration here or there or a bloody nose, but they've both ended up with concussions. I have never heard either of them complain, though. You should have seen them play in the snow."

"I've been missing a lot, haven't I?"

Barek sighed. "I wish you hadn't. We all do."

Eames watched the game, cringing when Logan hit Goren hard, shoulder to gut. But they both got up and continued with the game. "When I became his partner, few people would have anything much to do with him. No one understood him or was even willing to give him a chance. I understand why, but over time, things changed. Everyone said I was the one who changed him, but I don't think that's the case. I never tried to change him."

"When I came to the squad, Mike really resented him. He gradually came to respect him, but when you got married, and he stepped into a friendship with him, everything changed. I think this is the only good thing that's come out of your marriage."

Eames cringed again. "It won't be if they kill each other."

Barek laughed. "You get used to it. I have no idea why, but they really like this game. They aren't much gentler when they play basketball either."

When the game was over, Barek ran over to one of the vendors and got a couple of hot dogs and some soda. Goren and Logan sat on the grass near the bench and ate. Logan looked at Eames. "Are you sure you should be eating a hot dog? That can't be good for the baby."

"Try to take it away."

He held up his hands. "No way. You want it, enjoy!"

She studied the two exhausted men. Logan had a small laceration on his left temple and Goren's right eye was already bruising. "So is the object of your game to see who can inflict the most harm on the other?"

Goren was lying on the grass, watching the clouds travel across the sapphire sky. "Sometimes," he admitted.

Logan shrugged. "Today was kind of tame."

"Tame?"

She looked at Barek, who nodded. "I've seen them play much rougher. I played with them a couple of times, but they seem to get hurt worse when they try to hold back."

Logan grinned. "I like my partner. I don't want to kill her." He looked at Goren and nudged him in the leg. "Wake up."

"I'm awake."

Eames quietly said, "Let's go for a walk."

Goren lifted his head off the ground to look at her. "You sure you're up for it."

"I'm not going to break, Goren. Yes, I'm up for it." She smiled. "I didn't just play tackle and kill."

He laughed as he got up off the ground. Logan also laughed. "If it's all the same to you, I'm going to just sit here and take it easy."

Goren looked concerned for a moment. "You get hurt?"

"My knee's still sore from last weekend."

Barek said "If Deakins ever saw you guys play that, he'd have a heart attack. I'll stay here with you, Mike. Another hot dog sounds good. You want one?"

He nodded. "Make mine with kraut, please."

Eames headed off down the path with her partner. She watched the activity around them, noticing the buds beginning to open on the tree limbs. "I love spring in the city. Everything comes back to life."

She stopped suddenly. He turned to her, concerned, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She took his hand and placed it on her swollen belly so he could feel the baby kick.

He smiled. "Does he do that much?"

"All the time. I swear he's going to be ready to play ball with you and Mike as soon as he's born."

He tilted his head at her, an odd look on his face. But he turned away and continued walking beside her. "I never thought about that," he mused.

"About what?"

"About being part of your baby's life. I guess since I only see your nephew from time to time, I thought it might be kind of the same."

"You can be as involved or as distant as you want, Bobby."

"What about Ricky?"

"What about him? He has had no involvement in this pregnancy and he says he wants no involvement with the baby. As far as I'm concerned, he has no say."

"He may change his mind when the baby arrives."

"Are you sticking up for him, Goren?"

"Not hardly. I just can't see how he could remain uninvolved. It's a baby."

She sighed. "All men don't think like you do, you know. Sometimes that's a good thing, and sometimes it's not."

He nodded. "Mostly not, I'd say."

"I would agree, but I know you better than that."

She fell silent as they continued walking. Truth be told, she didn't wish that her husband was more like her partner. She wished that her husband _was_ her partner.


	10. Beauty From Pain

When Eames went into labor, Ricky was at work, in the middle of a stakeout, and unable to even take her call. They got a message to him, but his reply was for her to take a cab and he'd get there when he could. She was not surprised. She really didn't even expect him to show up at all.

Her father didn't answer and her sister was caring for her sick son, so she called her partner, who dropped what he was doing to take her to the hospital, as she knew he would. He sat with her through the night as her labor progressed, struggling to help her through the pain in any way he could. He was confused. He knew that childbirth was painful. He'd read all about it the first time, when she had been pregnant with her nephew. Childbirth was supposed to be beautiful, but he didn't understand how any beauty could come from that much pain. Then the nurse had brought a little bundle to them, placing the baby girl in his arms. Neither of them felt a need to correct the nurses' assumption that he was the baby's father; it was none of their business. Dark curly hair poked out from under a little pink hat and she made soft noises of a kind he had never heard before. For him, it was love at first sight. He sat back in the chair, his arm resting against the side of her bed. She leaned over, resting her head on his arm. He offered the baby to her but she shook her head wearily. "She seems happy. You hold her for awhile."

She closed her eyes, drifting off with her head resting on his arm. He kissed her forehead and sat there, quietly content, holding the newborn baby, who slept in his arms. And his restless soul was at peace for a little while…for the first time in far too long.

When she woke up, he was still there, sleeping in the chair. "Bobby?"

He slowly opened his eyes, looking around the room. He finally looked at her. "How do you feel?"

"Exhausted. How about you?"

"Me? I didn't just have a baby."

"No, but you were up all night with me. Where's the baby?"

"They took her to the nursery. They said they were going to weigh her and give her a bath."

She sighed wearily. "What do you think?"

"About what?"

"The baby, silly."

He smiled. "She's beautiful, just like her mother." He stretched wearily. "What are you going to name her?"

"Margaret Rose."

"I like it."

She laughed. She was glad he was there as she studied his exhausted face. "Thank you, Bobby."

"For what?"

"For bringing me in and staying with me."

"I couldn't let you do this all alone. I should thank you for letting me stay."

A knock on the door interrupted the conversation. The door slid open and her father came in. Goren stood up, accepting John Eames' outstretched hand. He was surprised to see his daughter's partner there, but not surprised that Ricky wasn't. "How are you doing, Bobby?"

"Fine, Mr. Eames."

He kissed his daughter. "I got your message, Alex. Your mother's not feeling well. I came over as soon as your sister could come by to stay with her."

"It's all right, Dad. Bobby brought me in."

"You've been here with her all night?"

"Yes, sir."

The retired cop smiled. "I worry less about Alex since you became her partner than I ever have. Thank you for taking care of her."

"That's what partners do."

John laughed. "I don't know if I would have sat at the hospital all night with any one of my partners, much less stayed through childbirth with them."

Eames laughed with him. "Dad, if any of your partners had gone through childbirth it would have been a miracle."

"That's beside the point. So where's my newest grandchild?"

"In the nursery."

He put a hand on Goren's shoulder. "Come and show me. We'll be right back, honey."

The two men headed down the corridor toward the nursery. "Boy or girl?"

"A little girl."

"Wonderful." He hesitated for a moment before he said, "Where's Ricky?"

Goren shrugged. "We haven't seen him. Alex said she called him but he was on a stake out."

"Did he even call to see if she's ok?"

"Not that I know of."

John shook his head and stopped before they got to the nursery windows. "Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"You've known my daughter for a long time. What do you think about her marriage?" When Goren hesitated, he added, "I won't say anything to her, I promise. But I want to know what you think."

Goren leaned against the wall. "I don't like the way he treats her. She's unhappy and I hate that. I don't know what to do, except let her know I'm here if she needs me."

"That's all any of us can do, son. But I'm glad she has a friend like you she can depend on."

"I'll always be here for her."

John put a hand on his shoulder. "Show me my new granddaughter."

When they returned to the room, Goren told her, "Since your dad is here, I'm going home to get some sleep. I'll come back later, if you want me to."

She nodded. "I do."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "See you later." He shook her father's hand. "Good to see you again, Mr. Eames."

"Thank you again for taking care of my daughter."

John turned to his daughter once her partner had gone. "She's a beautiful baby, Alex."

"Thanks, Dad."

They brought the baby to her to feed, and she went back to sleep. When she woke up several hours later, her father was gone. And still, there was no sign of her husband.


	11. Bringing Her Home

Eames rolled over in her hospital bed, woken by little noises she didn't yet recognize. They'd brought the baby in to her room in a clear plastic bassinette so she could begin taking care of her. But it wasn't entirely baby noises that woke her. Forcing her weary eyes open, she was surprised to see her partner, pacing near the bed. He had the baby in his arms, and he was quietly talking to her.

"Bobby?"

He looked up from the little person in his arms and smiled at her. "She was fussing, and I didn't want to wake you yet."

"It's probably time for her to eat."

He brought the baby over to her. She took her from him and positioned her to feed her. He turned away. She laughed softly. "You were here for her birth, Goren. I'm not shy about feeding her in front of you."

He sat down in the chair next to the bed, but he still wouldn't look at her…until he heard the baby eating. Turning his head, he watched, fascinated. There it was again, she smiled. His little boy fascination with the world.

When she was done feeding the baby, she handed her back to him. "Burp her."

"What?"

"Burp her."

"How do I do that?"

"Just put her on your shoulder and pat her back. She'll do the rest."

He did as she directed, smiling when he heard a little burp in his ear. She was enjoying watching him with the baby. He was much more at ease than she ever expected him to be. He brought the baby from his shoulder into the crook of his arm and gently traced one finger along the smooth skin of her little face, talking softly. She just watched him. "A lot of people have no idea how to interact with a baby. You don't seem to be having a problem."

He shrugged. "Babies like to hear voices."

"How do you know that?"

"I…read about it."

"You read about babies?"

"Some. You were having one. I wanted to know what to expect."

He never ceased to surprise her, no matter what he did. Just when she thought she knew him well enough to predict, well, anything, he would unintentionally throw her another curve. But there was one thing she did know…she always wanted him to be there to keep her guessing. "Would you do something for me?"

"Of course."

"Never go anywhere."

"Where would I go?"

She motioned him closer. When he leaned forward, she pressed her forehead to his. "Listen to me, Goren. I don't think Ricky is going to be much for interacting with this baby. I don't want her to suffer for my lack of judgment. Okay?"

He closed his eyes, opening them in surprise when she kissed him. "I'm not going anywhere," he said softly. And he meant that.

* * *

The next day, she and the baby were both discharged from the hospital. And still Ricky had not made an appearance. So Goren brought them home. She was surprised to see a car seat in the back seat of his car. "Did you go to my house to get that?"

"Do I look stupid? I knew she needed a car seat to go home, so I picked one up."

She studied him, letting him take the baby from her arms and put her in her car seat for her first car ride. She shouldn't be surprised by his thoughtfulness. She should be used to it by now.

He pulled into the driveway, frowning at the patrol car sitting there. She smiled at him and said, "Well, I must admit, that was the least terrifying car ride I have ever taken with you." He smiled, but she could tell he was unsettled. "You should come in."

He shook his head. "I better not."

"Are you sure? It's my house, too, you know."

"I don't want to make things any more difficult for you than they already are."

"I appreciate that, but I also like having you around."

"You're welcome at my place any time."

She just smiled, opening the back door to take the baby and her diaper bag out of the car. "I'll get the rest of it later, ok?"

"You sure you have everything you need?"

"Positive."

"Call me later."

"I will. Thanks, Bobby." She blew him a kiss. "Drive carefully."

She watched him pull out of the driveway and drive off down the street. Turning toward the house, she saw Ricky standing in the doorway. "Well, baby girl, here we go."

She headed up the porch steps and into the house. He had retreated to the living room. "Hi, Ricky. It was so nice of you to come to the hospital to see us."

"You didn't need me there."

"Did you even call to see how we were doing?"

"I figured if something was wrong, someone would call me."

"That's a nice attitude." She sat down on the couch and unwrapped the receiving blanket from around the baby. He watched. When she pulled off the baby's hat, he frowned. "That's a lot of hair. Where'd she get that from?"

"I'm not sure. Does it matter?"

"I guess not."

"Do you want to hold her?"

"No, thanks. I have to get back to work." He hesitated at the door. "I hope you're happy now. You got what you wanted."

The front door closed. No, she didn't have what she wanted, she mused. Yes, she had her baby, and that did make her happy. But the other part of her life, the one that _could_ make her happy, had driven off after she and the baby got out of the car.


	12. Family Crisis

Eames was resting on her parents' couch, her three week old daughter sleeping on her chest. Her father came hurrying into the room, grabbing the phone and dialing. He looked at his daughter. "I think your mom is having another stroke."

While he called for an ambulance, she laid the baby gently in her cradle and ran to her mother's side in the bedroom. Within twenty minutes, the ambulance had come and gone. She put the baby in the car and drove her father to the hospital. While he went into the building, she pulled out her phone and called her partner. "Goren."

"What are you doing right now, Bobby?"

"What's wrong?"

"Please answer me."

"Nothing, just paperwork."

"Can you come down to Bellevue and get the baby for me?"

"Sure. What's wrong?"

"We think Mom had another stroke."

"I'll be right there."

"Bobby?"

"What?"

"Drive carefully."

"I will."

The last thing she needed was for him to get into an accident on the way to the hospital. She waited outside the ER for him, relieved that it didn't take him long to get there. She kissed the baby and placed her in his arms, thanking him for coming. "I didn't want to take her into the hospital. I don't want her getting sick."

He nodded. "That was smart thinking." He leaned over so he could see her face. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know. I…I'll call you when I know anything, okay?"

He nodded. "If you need me, let me know. I can get Carolyn or Mike to watch Maggie."

He'd started calling her Maggie when she was just a few days old, and it suited her. "Thank you, Bobby." She kissed his cheek and hurried in to the hospital.

He turned and walked back to the car, gently placing the baby in her car seat. He sat there for a minute, worried about his partner. Well, she'd call him. He started the engine and headed for home.

* * *

Deep in the night, the phone rang. He leaned over and grabbed it, answering on the third ring. "Goren."

"Where the fuck is my wife, Goren?"

He sat up, settling the sleeping baby into the crook of his arm and trying to chase the sleep from his brain. "What? Ricky?"

"How many other wives are you sleeping with?"

"I'm not sleeping with anybody. Your wife is at the hospital because her mother had a stroke this afternoon."

There was silence on the other end for a minute before Ricky asked, "Why didn't she call me?"

"You'll have to ask her that."

"She's not there?"

"No, and she hasn't been." He hesitated for a moment before he added, "I am not sleeping with your wife."

Silence again, then, "Whatever."

The line went dead. He'd tried. He wished there was a way he could make things easier for Eames. He closed the phone, more than just a little irritated that he hadn't even asked about the baby. He lay back down on the couch, readjusting the baby on his chest. He gently stroked her soft hair, kissing her forehead. She sighed and, searching in her sleep for something to suck on, found her fist and settled back down. He wished sleep came that easy for him.

* * *

He didn't hear the door open, but the gentle hand that touched his arm woke him. He looked up into his partner's face. The first thing he noticed was that she had been crying. She gently rubbed the baby's back, smiling sadly when she sighed in her sleep. "Eames…"

She laid her fingers on his lips, silencing him. Softly, she said, "She died about an hour ago."

He sat up, shifting the baby into his right arm and pulling his partner into his embrace with the other. She settled against his chest and cried.

* * *

Eames looked about her at the people gathered around her mother's casket. Her siblings and their families stood nearby their father, just to her left. To her right, stood Ricky in his uniform, shifting impatiently. She ignored him, looking across to the other side of the funeral canopy. Her partner was there, right where she could see him, in a dark suit and sunglasses. When he saw her look his way, he slid off the glasses and slipped them into his pocket. Now she could meet his eyes, and she needed that support. Flanking him to the left and right were Logan and Barek, also dressed in dark colors, looking solemn. Deakins and his wife were behind them. There was a large grouping of police officers, both retired and active, scattered about the mourners. She held Maggie a little closer, taking comfort in the fresh baby scent of her, and sought out her partner's eyes once more. Then she shifted her gaze back to the casket.

When the graveside service was over, the mourners began to disperse, heading off to the gathering at her parents' house. Deakins and his wife came over to talk to her while Ricky hovered behind her, watching Goren warily. Finally no one was left except her and the baby, Ricky, Goren, Logan and Barek. She looked at her husband. "Go on back to work, Ricky."

"I can take you home first."

"I'm going to my dad's. I'll get a ride, don't worry."

It was clear that the three detectives were waiting for her and he glared at them some more. "Don't start anything," she warned. "Not here."

He looked at her. "Are you coming home tonight?"

"I don't know. I may stay with my dad."

"Can't your sister do that?"

She almost snapped that her sister liked being with her husband but she bit her tongue. "I don't know. But I want to stay with him."

He looked at the three detectives one more time before he finally headed for his patrol car. As he drove off, she walked over to her friends. Logan frowned as he watched the patrol car disappear from sight. "It's about damn time he left."

Eames was uptight and the baby could sense it. She started fussing, so her mother handed her off to Goren. She always settled down in his arms, and this time was no exception. As the four of them headed for the two parked cars, she held out her hand toward her partner. He fished in his pocket and dropped his keys into her hand. Logan and Barek smiled at one another. Things were getting back to normal again.

* * *

There were lots of people making lots of noise at the Eames residence. When the detectives arrived, Eames took the baby to a back bedroom, fed her and placed her in the crib her father had set up for his newest grandchild. She was sound asleep.

While she tended to the baby, Goren stood on the deck with Logan and Barek. John Eames joined them, holding out three beers. They thanked him, and the retired cop looked across the backyard, where children ran and played. "I want to thank all three of you for coming. I'm sure you all know that my daughter hasn't been happy lately, but when she talks about things she's done with you, I can see happiness in her again. Thank you for that."

He clapped the back of Goren's shoulder and returned to the house and his other guests. Goren leaned over and rested his arms on the deck railing. Logan mimicked his position next to him. "Promise me something, Goren."

"What?"

"When you come to your senses and decide to kick Waters' ass, call me so I can get a piece of him."

Goren smiled, watching the children in the yard run and play on the swingset. "Okay, Mike. I'll call you."


	13. Explanations

It was Thanksgiving again, and this year, the detectives were having their dinner at Goren's. The turkey was in the oven and they were relaxing for a while. Logan and Barek were sitting at the table playing rummy. Goren was lying on the couch, with Maggie sitting on his chest, smiling at him. She was six-and-a-half months old and a happy little girl. Eames sat in the easy chair across from them, watching them with a smile. She loved how he was with her. He gently poked the baby in the belly and she giggled. Eames had never seen him so content as when he played with Maggie. He lifted her up above his head, making soft airplane sounds and she giggled some more. When she began to yawn, he lowered her onto his chest, where she snuggled against his shoulder and buried her chubby little hand in his hair. She'd started doing that when she was about four months old; she loved his hair. She was soon sleeping.

Logan got up and went into the kitchen when the oven timer went off. Eames gently took the baby and put her in her crib back in the bedroom. She watched the baby sleeping, reflecting sadly that she spent more time in this crib and the one at her dad's than she did at home.

Goren poked his head into the room and started to say something. The words were lost in his throat when he saw the look on her face. He looked thoughtful for a moment, trying to decide whether to say what was on his mind or not. She knew that look. "Go ahead and say it."

"Say what?"

"How I have made a royal mess of my life."

"Do you think that?"

"Don't you?"

"I don't have to live your life, Eames."

"Oh, bullshit, Bobby. You can't hide from me, so don't even try. I see what you're thinking every night when I go home."

"You're getting depressed, and that's not good."

"It'll pass."

"Do you believe that? I remember when you told me Ricky would get over us."

"Do you ever forget anything?"

"Not when it matters."

She looked at him. "And what matters, Bobby?"

"I don't have to answer that. If you don't know by now, you never will."

He left the room, but she caught him in the hall. "Don't withdraw from me, please."

"I won't. I'm here if you ever need me. You know that. It's the lot I cast for myself, and it's not going to change, unless you change it. Dinner's ready."

She let him go, following after him after a few moments. When the table was ready they sat down to eat. Logan picked up the wine bottle and grinned. "No cider this year."

* * *

Eames sat in a recliner in her father's living room. It was Christmas Eve and Ricky was working. So she'd invited Goren to spend the evening with them. Maggie had just figured out she could move about on her hands and knees, but more often than not she moved in the opposite direction that she wanted to go. So she would sit and think about it. Eames was amazed that she never got frustrated or angry. She just kept trying until she figured it out. Goren was on the floor with the baby and John was sitting in his chair in the corner, reading the paper and covertly watching the game on the floor. Eames loved listening to the baby laugh. She never laughed at home.

Goren was on his stomach, and Maggie was on her hands and knees. He growled at her, and she growled back at him and giggled. So he inched closer to her, and she pushed herself backwards, away from him, laughing. She dropped to her stomach, reaching out toward him, growling, and he backed away, and they would both laugh. Eames never got tired of watching the baby play with him. Maggie was the one person who always brought joy and never pain to her partner's heart.

When Eames took the baby to get ready for bed, her father and her partner sat in the living room. John set his newspaper aside. "Tell me something, Bobby." Goren looked at him and he continued, "You are closer to Alex than anyone is. You understand her and you know what's going on in her life. Why do you put up with it?"

"What else can I do?"

"If anyone could convince her to leave Ricky…"

Goren shook his head. "No, sir. I'm not playing that game. I hate that she's unhappy, and I hate the way he treats her and ignores Maggie. But if I interfere, she'll end up resenting me. You know how stubborn she is. She's set it in her mind that she made this commitment and she's going to follow through with it. As much as I hate how things are, it would be much worse for me to lose her entirely."

"I don't think that would happen. Do you honestly have no idea how important you are to her?"

"I know. But this has to be her decision. No one else can make it for her."

John picked up the paper and folded it over and then over again. "I do know how stubborn she can be." He was thoughtful for a moment. "How much are you going to let her put up with?"

"What do you mean?"

"There has to be a point at which you'll finally react."

"He's an ass, and he has no idea how to treat her. He has driven a wedge between them that will never go away. But he's never hit her, and he's never hurt Maggie. I would rather he ignore her than take out his anger on her. That would be something I could never forgive. But that's why she never leaves the baby with him, never gives him a chance to hurt her."

"Do you know that she's protecting you, too?"

Goren nodded. "Whether I like it or not, he's a fellow officer. I _would_ go to prison for her, but that wouldn't do her or Maggie any good." He shifted in his chair. "She made me promise I would never go after him."

John finally nodded. That was the explanation he had been seeking. "I thought as much. Have you ever thought that maybe you love my daughter too much?"

"No." That thought had never even crossed his mind.


	14. Frustration

Ricky came home from work early and walked in to the bedroom, surprised to see his wife getting ready to go out. "Where's the kid?"

"At my dad's."

"And what are you planning to do?"

"I'm going out."

"In jeans?"

She looked at him. "We…" She frowned at his bruised and swollen lip and the knot over his eye. "What happened to you?"

"It's nothing. Some guy resisted. If you're going out, why are you wearing jeans?"

"I'm just spending time with my friends, not going out on a date."

He swore. "Alex…"

"Don't even start, Ricky. Since you don't seem to have this figured out, let me spell it out for you clearly, so there are no misunderstandings. You need to get over yourself. I am an adult and I can make my own decisions. I choose who my friends are and I am not going to alter my choices because you are being juvenile. Bobby is my closest friend. I will not give up that friendship for anyone. So deal with it." She shut off the light. "I won't be home tonight."

He watched her leave, seething, but he didn't say a word. He didn't go after her. He took a few breaths to calm himself down, then he went to the phone.

-------------------------------------------------------------

When Eames got to Goren's apartment, Logan and Barek were already there. "Hi, guys. Where's Bobby?"

Logan waved a hand toward the bedroom. "He'll be right out."

She frowned at them. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. We…played ball today. He got a little roughed up, that's all."

"He's ok, isn't he?"

"Sure."

"And you're sure you and Bobby don't mind us invading your boys' night out?"

"Why should we? It's because of you we ever started having a boys' night out, remember?"

Barek smacked him in the shoulder as Eames went in to the kitchen for a glass of water. Logan was right about that. It just wasn't something she liked to think about. After setting the glass in the sink, she turned around, startled to see her partner watching her. His eye was swollen and bruised and she could see a small cut near the hairline of his temple. "It's your own fault," she said as she moved closer and examined his bruised eye. "I don't know why you and Mike have to play so rough."

An odd look crossed his face, but it didn't last. "Frustration," was all he said.

They went back in to the living room and Goren grabbed his keys from a nearby bookshelf. "Let's go."

"Bobby?" He turned back to his partner. "You know better."

She held out her hand. He laughed and tossed the keys to her.

---------------------------------------------------------------

After dinner, they went along with Logan's suggestion to mess around at his favorite sporting complex. "I could do with hitting a few balls."

Eames frowned at him. "You're not a golfer."

"Not golf balls, baseballs."

Now they were standing outside the batting cages watching Barek take her turn with the pitching machine. Leaning on the fence, Eames watched her friend swing the bat and make contact. Logan had been heckling her, and it felt good to laugh, really laugh, again. She missed the next pitch. "Come on, Barek…that was in the zone. How could you miss it?"

Fed up, Barek turned and headed for the gate. "I'll tell you one thing I won't miss, Logan," she growled, choking up on the bat. "You'd better run, partner."

She yanked the gate open and took off after her now-running partner. Laughing, Eames sat down on a nearby bench. When Goren sat beside her, she noticed he wasn't laughing, realizing for the first time that he'd been quiet all night. "Is something wrong, Bobby?"

"No. Why?"

"You're awfully quiet tonight. Are you sure Mike didn't really hurt you?"

"Mike? What…"

"Your game this afternoon…"

"Oh, that…no, I'm fine."

Logan ran up to them and jumped behind Eames. Barek stopped in front of her. "Why the hell are you hiding behind Alex?" she asked.

"Because I know you won't hit her."

"You're an ass, Mike."

"And that's why you love me," he grinned.

"Don't push your luck." She handed the bat to Goren. "Go hit some balls, Bobby, before I really do use that bat on him."

That got a laugh from him. Logan and Barek sat down with her as he headed for the cage. "He's quiet tonight," she commented, looking from one to the other for some insight.

Logan wiped the sweat from his forehead. "I haven't noticed."

Eames looked at Barek. "Am I imagining it?"

"You have to be. He seems fine to me."

She looked suspiciously from one to the other. "Are you three hiding something from me?"

"Not at all," Logan answered. But he met Barek's eyes when Eames turned her attention back to the batting cages.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Logan and Barek had gone, and Eames was sitting in the easy chair in Goren's living room. He came out of the kitchen with two coffee cups, handing one to her. "You staying the night?"

"If it's ok with you."

"Sure. You can have the bed."

She set her cup on the coffee table and moved to sit beside him on the couch. "Bobby, what's going on?"

He was quiet, looking into his coffee, searching for just what to say. "What the hell are we going to do, Eames?"

"About what?"

"About you. You know, I honestly never meant to cause you any trouble."

"When do you ever cause me trouble? You aggravate me sometimes…"

"Not that kind of trouble. The kind of trouble you deal with every day at home."

"Is that what's been bothering you?"

"It always bothers me. I never meant…"

"You don't. Look, the problem isn't you; it's him. I thought he understood how it was when we got married. I was wrong…and that's my fault. You are probably the only faultless one in this triangle."

"I never meant for there to _be_ a triangle."

"But there is, whether you want it or not. I really don't want to talk about this right now."

"We have to talk about it. We've been trying to ignore it for three years, and I don't know about you, but I…" He broke off, frustrated and angry.

"Just let me deal with it, ok? I've been dealing with his insecurity since we left for Bermuda…"

He frowned darkly. "On your honeymoon?"

She nodded. He had no idea it had started way back then. She really had been dealing with this for her entire marriage. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

She looked at him. From everyone else, she got 'why do you stay?' From him, she got an apology. "Never apologize to me because my husband's an ass, Goren. This isn't your problem…"

"Not my problem?" He got up, agitated. His frustration and anger boiled over. "How the hell can you say that? I see you every morning and I know you didn't sleep well the night before. Your little girl spends more time with your dad than she does with you. I watch this eating at you, and damn it, Eames, it kills me. And there's not a damn thing I can do to fix it. Not one damn thing."

She got off the couch and walked to him, placing her hands on his chest and pushing him roughly into the wall. Pulling his head toward her, she kissed him hard. He turned her so that she was against the wall and stepped back, out of breath and confused. "I can't…"

"The hell you can't."

"This isn't going to fix anything."

"Speak for yourself, Goren. I need you, damn it."

He leaned toward her so he could look her directly in the eye. "You're _married_, Eames. It's not my place to…"

She kissed him again, softly this time. "Let me decide what your place is in my life." She caressed his hair, letting her lips tease his. "If there is a chance for any happiness in my life, it's not going to be in my marriage. It's going to be right here."

As much as he had fought over the past three years to keep from stepping into this exact situation, he now found no way out of it. Right now her intensity rivaled his at its peak, and there was no chance for him to step away. She wasn't going to let him. And truth be told, he simply did not want to.


	15. Right and Wrong

She had left Goren sleeping and drove to her father's house early the next morning. No one was up yet, so she slipped into the baby's room and lay down on the bed. She felt relaxed and content for the first time in a long time. She fell asleep easily.

John Eames looked up when she came into the kitchen. She kissed Maggie, who was sitting in her high chair dissecting a piece of toast. John handed her a cup of coffee as she kissed his cheek. "Good morning, Dad. Was Maggie good for you?"

He laughed. "Maggie is always good for me, honey. How is everything with you?"

"Fine," she lied. She sat down at the table and began spooning sugar into her coffee. She stirred it idly and finally said, "I made a huge mistake, didn't I?"

He looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"Getting married."

"I wouldn't call getting married a mistake, Alex. It's _who_ you marry that makes it right or wrong."

"And I was wrong. Everyone knows that."

"What matters is that you know it. What everyone else thinks is irrelevant. It's your marriage and you are the only one who can decide if it's right or wrong."

"What do you think, Dad?"

He sat in the chair across from her. "I don't have to tell you what I think. You know how I feel."

"That's the problem. I know how everyone else feels."

"You know what's in your heart, Alex. You just have to find the courage to face it and admit you were wrong. I know how hard that can be for you."

He was right. She hated to be wrong, to make mistakes. But she had made a big one, and she was not the only one it affected. She looked at Maggie, who was putting the toast she hadn't pulled apart on her head and laughing. She saw her partner in those sparkling eyes, and she knew it was time to try to make things right.

-------------------------------------------------------

Late that afternoon, she was sitting on the floor, rolling a ball back and forth with Maggie. "Now try throwing it," she encouraged.

Maggie picked the ball up and heaved it at her mother. Eames smiled. Goren had been teaching her to throw, and she was getting better. Her phone rang and she jumped up to grab it off the counter. "Eames."

"Alex, it's Logan. Look, you need to get to St. Vincent's right away."

"Why? What happened?"

"Just hurry up. Bobby's there."

"What?" Her heart began pounding. "What happened?"

He hesitated. "Someone beat the crap out of him."

"Is he ok, Mike?" _Please tell me he's ok,_ she thought frantically.

"I don't know. He wasn't conscious when the ambulance left."

"I'm on my way."

John looked at her from his chair near the fireplace. "What's wrong?"

"That was Mike Logan. Bobby's in the emergency room at St. Vincent's. I have to get over there..."

He got up, not about to let her drive in alone. "I'll take you. We'll drop Maggie at your sister's on the way."


	16. St Vincent's

The emergency room was busy. They went to the registration desk, where Eames pulled out her badge. "My partner was brought in a little while ago."

She nodded and motioned for them to follow her. She led them to an empty cubicle where Logan sat alone. "Mike?"

"They took him to x-ray. He'll be right back."

"How is he?" When he hesitated, she added, "I want the truth."

"Right now, a little doped up. They gave him some strong pain killers when he woke up in a lot of pain. Since he regained consciousness, the doctors haven't been so worried."

"Did he tell you what happened?"

Logan looked at the floor. "Yeah, he did."

She waited, but he remained quiet. "Mike, tell me what happened!"

"I went over to his place after lunch. We were going to shoot some hoops and grab a bite to eat. He didn't answer, and the door was unlocked, so I went in."

"Who did this to him?"

Logan fidgeted in his seat. "It was Ricky and three of his friends. He's seen them before with Ricky."

"Oh, my God…" She felt her father grab her and guide her to the chair near Logan. "What have I done?"

"This isn't your doing, Alex," Logan said.

She shook her head slowly. "He's lost his mind."

"He's going to lose more than that. Deakins blew a gasket when I talked to him, especially after I called him back and told him Ricky did this."

She felt like she was walking through a nightmare. She could feel her father's hand on her shoulder and she knew Logan had taken her hand and was holding it, but she was detached. She just wanted to lie down and go to sleep, so she could wake up and this would all be over.

She looked up when Deakins arrived. The captain looked from one detective to the other. "What the hell is going on?"

"He's in x-ray," Logan answered.

"Is he awake?"

"He was when he left."

The captain looked at Eames. "Did Mike tell you?" She nodded. "Where is your husband now?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since yesterday."

He looked at Logan. "He's sure it was Waters?"

Logan nodded. "Yeah, he's sure."

"And the other three?"

"Friends of Ricky's."

"And they're cops?"

Logan nodded. "He was sure of that."

"Ok, I am going to handle this. One of you call me as soon as you find out anything more. And let me know how he's doing."

He was sleeping when they brought him back from x-ray. John motioned for Logan to come with him and they left the cubicle. She got up from the chair and walked over to his bed as soon as the nurse finished what she was doing with his IV. Reaching out, she touched his face. His eyelids fluttered and he forced himself awake. "Eames…"

"Look at you," she tried to smile. "Next time I won't leave."

"I'm glad you weren't there."

"Bobby, I…"

"No," he said quietly, reaching toward her, but getting hung up with IV tubing. He looked annoyed. "This was between him and me."

"And three other men? That's just wrong."

He shook his head. "They didn't hit me."

"So what, they were just spectators?"

"No."

She pushed his shirt open, looking at the bruises that were beginning to form on his chest and abdomen. "They got you under control and held you so he could hit you, didn't they?" He didn't answer. "What the hell is wrong with him?"

He adjusted himself on the bed, trying to stifle a groan of pain. "He said he had us followed yesterday," he said quietly after he'd settled back against the pillow. "He knew you were at my place last night."

She looked away from him, her anger growing quickly, like a forest fire, teetering on the edge of her control. When she looked back, she saw his blood, his bruises…the pain in his half-closed eyes…and something snapped. "That son of a bitch…that goddam son of a bitch…"

"Eames…" He sat up, ignoring the pain. "No….don't you dare…"

But she didn't hear him. She left the cubicle, pushing past Logan and her father when they came to see why he had shouted at her. She began to run, not listening to the voices that followed her.

Logan would have run after her, but he was helping to restrain her partner, who'd ripped out his IV and was set on stopping her. It took four of them to wrestle him back onto the bed and a syringe filled with medicine to keep him there.


	17. Showdown

The front door slammed open and Ricky looked up from where he was sitting at the table. He heard her go upstairs and he heard her come back down. "It's about damn time you got home. Look…"

"No, you look, you son of a bitch," she said in a low, threatening voice she had learned from Goren. She stood in the living room, glaring at him. She was trying to control the fury that raged inside her and trembled with the effort. It gave her great satisfaction to see that his face was bruised and bloody. At least her partner had landed a few hits before they had overwhelmed him. She started toward him. "You put him in the hospital, you and your goon squad. What the hell were you thinking? You aren't man enough to face him alone so you gang up on him and beat the crap out of him?"

"You spent the night at his place…"

"And that's another thing! How _dare_ you have me followed! Damn you! Do you know how easy it would have been for us to have carried on an affair all this time?" Her voice was shaking. "But _he_ wouldn't, Ricky. He has too much damn respect for me. And that's more than I could ever say about you!"

He got to his feet and started toward her. She didn't move. "What do you mean he wouldn't?" he yelled. "He was always fucking there!"

"Yes, he was…because I needed him. If I had ever told him to back off or go away, he would have. He always loved me and he has never tried to own me or control me." She stepped closer to him and shoved him, hard. He fell back, surprised. "He knows how to treat a person, Ricky. He knows how to treat a woman."

He grabbed her arm but she twisted away, kicking his leg out from under him and knocking him onto his back. She had gone upstairs to retrieve her weapon and her handcuffs, and now she pulled her gun and aimed it into his face. He didn't move or make a sound as he looked down the barrel of the gun. Pulling out her handcuffs, she slid the gun into its holster with a trembling hand, grabbed his arm by the wrist and twisted, slapping a cuff onto it. There was no tremor in her voice as she forced him over onto his stomach. "Richard Waters," she growled with satisfaction. "You are under arrest for the aggravated assault and attempted murder of a police officer." As she yanked his other arm behind his back and tightened the cuff on it, she read him his rights. He struggled against her, but her fury drove her actions and he wasn't able to get her off him. She yanked him to his feet, shoving him in front of her toward the front door. She had called for backup on her way over in her father's car, and a patrol car was waiting, its team of partners just getting to the top step of the porch. He twisted his head toward her. "I should have just shot him."

Shoving him toward them, she said, "You have no idea how lucky you are I didn't just shoot you."

She was sitting on the front steps, still shaking, when a car screeched to a halt by the curb. Logan jumped out and ran toward her. He looked around. "What happened? Are you ok?"

She took her gun out of her holster and handed it to him. He looked almost frightened. "Did you shoot him?"

"Almost. Just hold onto that for me for a little while. I scared myself, Mike."

He sat down on the steps beside her. "I understand that. I can't say I'd have felt any different if I were the one pointing a gun at him. Uh, where is he?"

"On his way to the lockup."

"You arrested him? Good for you."

"How's Bobby?"

"Shit, Alex. The way you took off out of there, they had to sedate him."

She felt badly about that. "Tell me something."

"What?"

"You guys didn't play ball yesterday, did you?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Was it Ricky?"

"Yeah. They ran into each other in the parking garage at 1 PP. It was broken up before anyone really got hurt."

"Were you there?"

He nodded. "I had to help break it up. Damn, it was painful not to be able to jump in on it."

"Who started it?"

He looked at her. "You have to ask? You think Bobby would throw the first punch?" He smiled. "But he sure didn't hesitate to throw the second one…or any of the ones that followed it."

"And the three of you conspired not to tell me."

"That was his idea. He didn't want to upset you."

The adrenaline was gone and so was her trembling. All that remained was a headache.

Logan hesitated for a moment before he finally asked, "Is this it now, Alex?"

"Yeah," she said. "This is it. I decided this morning that it was time to make everything right. But this…if I hadn't been so stubborn…"

"Let it go. You can't go back and change anything."

She folded her arms across her knees and buried her face in them. It took him a moment to realize she was crying. Ah, damn…he hated it when women cried. He gently put his arm around her and sat there with her.

When she looked up at him after a long while, he tried to smile. "Feel better?"

"Not really."

"We really should get back to the hospital. It'd probably be best if we were there when he wakes up." He nodded at the car in the driveway. "Whose car did you steal?"

She smacked him. "I didn't steal it. It's my dad's car and I know where he keeps the spare keys."

"Come on. I'll drive. We can come back later to get it."


	18. Back at the Hospital

Logan had gone to the hospital gift shop to get a deck of cards, and he was now sitting opposite John Eames, a tray table between them. Goren had been transferred to a hospital room about a half hour earlier and they were sitting in there, playing cards.

Eames was sitting in another chair, looking out the window. She looked toward her partner. He still had not woken since they'd sedated him in the ER. After Logan had left to go after her, they had started another IV and repeated the x-rays. Her father had stayed with him, waiting for Logan to return with his little fireball of a daughter.

Since they had returned to the hospital and the doctor had assured her Goren would be ok, Eames hadn't said much. She just sat by Goren's bedside and watched him sleep, lost in thought. Both Logan and her father let her be. Logan had quietly told John that his daughter had arrested her husband instead of shooting him. John had just nodded his head and said, "Before she became his partner, she would have shot him."

Eames looked toward the two men playing cards. "Go Fish?" she asked.

Logan looked up at her. "Go Fish? I haven't played that since I was six."

John asked, ""Do you want to play?"

She slid her chair over to them. "What are you playing?"

"Rummy," Logan answered.

"A quarter a card, Mike?"

Logan laughed. "Nah, I only play for money when I play with Goren."

John gathered the cards together and shuffled. Eames quietly asked, "Did they tell you if he was badly hurt, Dad?"

"He'll be fine, honey."

"Then why did they admit him?"

"He has a concussion and they just wanted to keep him for observation. They had to give him a large dose of sedative, too, and he needs to recover from that. But they assured me that none of his injuries are serious."

"They could have been."

John dealt the cards. "True. Ricky could have killed him."

Logan picked up his cards. "He planned to," he commented.

Eames frowned at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Before Ricky cold-cocked him with his pistol, he was going to shoot him. His buddies talked him out of it."

"He _what_? He really has lost his mind. Is there anything else I should know?"

"I don't think so. As it is, Goren's probably going to kick my ass for what I did tell you."

"Has Ricky harassed him before?"

"No comment."

"Mike…"

"Look, Alex, I've already told you more than I should have. You want more details, you can get them out of him."

A few hours later, Logan got up and stretched. "I'm glad I wasn't playing you for money, Alex. I'd have to hand over my next paycheck."

"Why don't you both go home? I'll stay here with Bobby."

Logan shook his head. "The doctor asked us to stay until he wakes up, in case he's still agitated."

"The only reason he got upset in the first place was because I took off."

"The alternative is restraints. So you either enjoy our company or they're going to tie him down until they know he's calm."

"Did he get that upset?"

Logan nodded. "Yeah, he did." He looked out the window. "Do you blame him? Ricky had just beaten the shit out of him for spending time with you, and you took off like a pissed-off bat out of hell to confront him, alone. I've never seen him like that, and I never want to again. He was determined to stop you. It took us a while to take him down and get him out. My vote is let's _not_ do that again."

"Why do they want you here when he wakes up?"

"Because he went out fighting. Sometimes when someone goes out like that, they wake up like that. They don't want you or any of the nurses to get hurt."

"He wouldn't…"

Logan turned from the window. "Not intentionally, no. But we're not taking any chances, ok? It's for his protection, too. You know how strong he is, and you know how he'd feel if he hurt someone, particularly someone who was trying to help him. I know he wouldn't feel so bad about hurting me." He grinned. "Hell, he does it all the time."

It was almost midnight when he began to come around. Logan was the first to notice his breathing had changed. He'd been watching, since both he and John had agreed it would be a good idea if Alex were not there when he came around, just in case. "Alex, why don't you and your dad run down to the cafeteria? I could use some coffee and you could use a break."

"I would rather…"

John took his daughter's arm. "He's right. Come on. We'll be right back."

She really didn't want to leave. Logan watched her as she looked at her partner's face, praying he would be still until she left the room. She finally consented. John looked back at Logan from the doorway, then he pulled the door closed behind him.

As the doctors had predicted, he was agitated, though no where near as badly as he'd been in the emergency room. Logan was able to keep him subdued long enough for him to come out of it some more and calm himself down.

"Get the hell off me, Mike."

"You gonna behave?"

"Not if you don't get off."

Logan stood up, letting Goren slowly sit up, frustrated and in pain. "Where is she?"

"She's safe. She went to the cafeteria with her dad to get some coffee."

"What happened?"

"Well, since she probably won't tell you herself…you'd have been proud of her. She kicked his ass a bit, then arrested him. As much as she wanted to, she didn't shoot him."

"What did they charge him with?"

"Aggravated assault and attempted murder of a cop."

"But she's ok?"

"Yeah, she's fine."

Goren eased himself back onto the pillow and tried to find a position that didn't hurt so much. "Let me go get a nurse," Logan said. "They can give you something for the pain and they'll want to know you're awake and not fighting. I'll be right back."

The big detective closed his eyes, trying to pinpoint his pain, to figure out exactly where he was hurt, but right now he just hurt everywhere. Logan was back with the nurse before Eames and her father returned. She listened to his heart and lungs, took his blood pressure and put medicine into his IV. As she left the room, John and Eames came in. She was relieved to see him awake. "Is everything ok in here?" John asked Logan.

Logan nodded, and Eames looked from her father to Logan, then back to Goren. He was beginning to relax again as the pain retreated. He looked at his partner. "Go home, Eames. Give Maggie a kiss for me and I'll see you tomorrow."

She walked to his bedside. "Bobby, I'm sorry I took off like that."

He nodded. "We'll talk about it later. Right now I just want you to go home and get some sleep. It's been a long day and you look exhausted."

"And what about you?"

"I'll be fine."

Logan approached the partners and placed a hand on Eames' arm. "He's right, Alex. Let's go get your dad's car and you can go home with him. Your partner here still has to sleep off all those drugs they gave him downstairs."

She finally nodded, seeing that he was struggling to stay awake. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."

By the time she got to the door, he was sleeping.


	19. Talking It Out

The next afternoon, Eames returned to the hospital. Her partner was sleeping when she came into the room, so she sat in the chair by his bed like she had the day before.

When he woke, she was looking out the window. He watched her until she noticed he was awake. "Hi," she smiled.

He smiled back. "Hi. You look better."

"I feel better. How about you?"

He nodded. "I'm fine, Eames. They're letting me out in the morning. How's the baby?"

"She was asking to go to your place this morning."

He smiled. Leaning forward to look at her, he said, "We need to talk."

She returned to the chair by the bed. "Yes, we do."

"Why did you take off like that yesterday?"

She looked at her hands. "I…I don't know." Looking up to meet his eyes, she said, "Something snapped." He would understand that. "I saw red, Bobby. He didn't just cross the line; he stomped on it and trampled it into oblivion."

"You want to know what I saw?" She nodded. "I saw you getting hurt, or worse. He…was angry. More than angry. And I couldn't be sure he wouldn't direct that anger toward you."

"He tried. It didn't work. I guess I was angrier."

The corners of his mouth twitched. "Mike told me you kicked some ass."

She nodded. "And he told me Ricky was going to kill you."

The amusement vanished from his face. "Why did he tell you that?"

"He thought I needed to know." Goren's expression told her he did not agree. "If it makes you feel any better, he expects you to kick his ass for it."

"Don't worry. I will."

She was quiet for a long moment. "If I asked you something, would you answer me?" He looked wary. "It's not a trick, Goren, but it's something I want to know. Logan wouldn't tell me."

"If Logan wouldn't tell you, what makes you think I will?"

"Because I'm asking you to."

"Go ahead."

"When did Ricky start harassing you?"

"Who said he was harassing me?" She was silent. "Logan…"

"Don't blame him. I asked and he said he couldn't tell me. You know what that means as well as I do."

He rubbed his forehead. "Eames…"

"Tell me."

Stubborn woman…"After Maggie was born."

"And you just weren't going to tell me."

"No, I wasn't."

"Why the hell not?"

"I figured if he turned his attention to me, he would be bothering you less."

"I don't need a martyr, Goren."

"Don't get mad. You have no idea…" He shook his head. He didn't want to argue. "Forget it."

"I heard about the fight in the parking garage yesterday."

"That's it. Logan's dead meat."

She almost smiled. "Don't blame Mike. You should have told me. Then you wouldn't be here." She indicated the room around them.

"And you might be…or worse. That wasn't a chance I was willing to take…for you or your daughter."

Maggie…he was right. It wasn't just her any more. She had Maggie. "It makes me mad that you think you have to protect me all the time, Goren. But thank you for thinking of Maggie. You can be her protector forever. Then I'll never have to worry about her. Her dates will take one look at you and she'll be home by curfew every night."

"Dates?"

She laughed. "Yes, she is going to start dating some day."

"Not if I have anything to do with it."

She started laughing. No, she would never have to worry about her daughter as long as Goren was around.


	20. Protective Detail

**A/N: Thank you for your patience and sorry my updates have slowed. I'm working on it while we're trying to get settled. Here's the next chapter :-)**

* * *

Goren and Deakins went to Ricky's arraignment; both men insisted that Eames remain back at the squad. When the issue of bail came up, Ricky's lawyer argued that he was a decorated police officer with no disciplinary actions against him. Carver stood up and adjusted his tie. "Your honor, this man and three of his friends assaulted a brother officer and put him in the hospital."

"Do you think he's a flight risk, Mr. Carver?"

"No, your honor, but I do feel he represents a significant threat to at least two other officers."

The judge seemed to consider this, but finally shook his head. "I am going to release Sergeant Waters on his own recognizance."

The ADA met Deakins and Goren at the back of the courtroom, watching Ricky as he laughed with his friends. They headed toward the doors, and Ricky stopped, looking directly at Goren. "This isn't over, Goren."

The big cop didn't respond or look away. Ricky followed his friends from the courtroom. Deakins frowned. "Well, that wasn't very smart."

Goren shook his head. "Don't worry about it."

Carver frowned. "What are you going to do, detective?"

Goren put a hand on the back of his head and looked toward the door. "I'm not going to do anything, Mr. Carver." He looked at the ADA and then at Deakins. "Not yet. But I will protect Eames and her little girl, make no mistake about that."

He left the courtroom. Deakins looked at Carver. "Don't look so worried, Counselor. We'll take care of it."

He proceeded from the courtroom after his detective.

---------------------------------------------

Mike Logan took two blankets from the closet and threw one at Goren. "I don't get why you just don't go in there and sleep in your bed."

"It's not right. Not while she's married."

Logan snorted, dropping a pillow from the couch onto the floor. "So because of your high and mighty moral attitude, one of us has to sleep on the floor."

"You don't have to stay, Logan."

"Yes, I do. Deakins wants them protected, and you and I have been given that job. I am not going to skip out on it. You can sleep on the floor tonight."

He threw a blanket at Goren and dropped onto the couch.

Deep in the night, Goren opened his eyes and sat up. He wasn't sure what had woken him, but he was certain something had. There it was again…an odd noise…familiar, but not enough that he could identify it. He got up and flipped the light on. Logan sat up. "What's wrong?"

Goren was shaking his head. "We have a mouse."

"A what?"

The big cop nodded toward the other side of the room, where Maggie was looking through her toy box. Logan frowned. "Does that kid have night vision?"

Goren walked over and squatted beside the little girl. "What are you doing up?"

She held up a ball and smiled. "We can play ball."

"Not right now. It's time to sleep, not time to play."

"Mommy sleeping. Shhhhh…"

"That's right. And Maggie should be sleeping, too."

"No. Maggie _play_."

He took the ball from her hands and placed it back in the toy box. "No. Maggie _sleep_."

She pouted at him, but he shook his head, gathering her into his arms as he stood up. "Don't even try that, little miss. Now put your head down and go back to sleep."

"No."

He pressed his forehead against hers and said, "Yes."

She giggled and slid her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. Burying her little hand in his hair, she rested her head on his shoulder as he turned off the light. Logan swore softly. "I swear you planned this. You can have the couch now, since you have the baby."

"I can put her back in her bed."

"And she'll just toddle her little self back out here to be with you. Neither of us will get any sleep tonight. Go on back to sleep on the couch, dammit."

Goren walked around the apartment with the baby until he knew she'd gone back to sleep. Then he lay down on the couch and went back to sleep.

He opened his eyes when he heard movement in the room. Maggie was still sound asleep on his chest, and Logan was snoring on the floor. He gently rolled and slipped out from under the sleeping baby, walking to the kitchen doorway, where he watched Eames making coffee. She looked at him over her shoulder. "When she wasn't in her bed, I figured she'd be with you."

"She wanted to play ball at three this morning."

"Did you play?"

"No. I put her back to sleep."

"Generally you give in to her."

"Logan would have had a cow if I had," he grinned.

"You spoil her, you know."

"It's in my job description."

She smiled. "Bobby, you _can_ sleep in your bed. I've slept on the couch before."

"It's ok. You're the one being inconvenienced by this protective detail. You should at least be comfortable. And Maggie's bed's in there anyway, so it just makes sense for you to sleep in the bedroom."

She walked over to him and looked into his face. "You can…"

He shook his head. "We've been over this, Eames. I let it happen once, but I can't do it again. Once your divorce is final, it'll be different. Until then, you're married."

"Are you punishing me for getting married?"

"Punishing you? Why would I do that? Being married to Ricky was punishment enough, don't you think?"

She walked over to him and gently kissed him. "I've put you through a lot these past few years. I'm sorry about that." She pressed her forehead into his shoulder and lightly stroked his hand. Then she moved away and headed down the hall to get ready for work.

When they were ready to leave, Logan took Eames in to work and Goren took Maggie to her grandfather's for the day. And that's how their routine went as they waited for Ricky to go to trial.


	21. Another Confrontation

"Detectives," someone called from behind Logan and Barek as they headed back toward 1 PP after lunch.

Turning toward the caller, Logan tensed as he recognized Ricky trotting across the street toward them. "Relax," Barek said. "Don't you dare start anything."

He gave her his 'who me?' look as Ricky strolled up to them with two of his friends behind him. "You're friends with Goren and my wife. Where the hell is she?"

Logan frowned. "Don't you think if she wanted you to know where she is, she'd tell you?"

"She filed for divorce last week and I wanted to talk to her about it."

"I'm sure you can convey any messages you have through her attorney."

"I don't want to talk to her attorney. I want to talk to her, without one of you hanging about her."

"Sorry, sergeant. That's just not going to happen," Barek informed him.

Ignoring her, Ricky stepped forward and grabbed Logan by the shirt. "I want to know where my wife and kid are."

"First of all," Logan said, barely holding on to his temper. "You had better let go of my shirt or you're going to be missing some teeth."

When Ricky let go of his shirt, he said, "Second of all, since when do you give a damn about your kid? Goren's a better father to her than you've ever been."

He never saw the fist coming. As soon as Ricky slugged him, Barek drew her gun. "First one that moves gets shot."

Logan rolled over onto his stomach and got to his feet. He glared at Ricky. "Come on, Logan," Barek said. "Let's get out of here."

"One minute." He walked up to Ricky and said, "Goren was always reluctant to hit you because it might upset his partner. Now me, I have no such problem."

Without any warning, he swung and Ricky hit the ground between his friends. Barek still had her weapon in her hand, so neither of them moved toward Logan. "Next time, I'll really hit you. Stay away from Eames. She's done with you, asshole."

They walked away into the crowd as Barek slid her gun into its holster. "Normally, I'd jump all over you for that."

"And I'd expect you to."

She was quiet for a minute before she said, "You should have hit him harder."

--------------------------------------

Goren glanced up when Logan and Barek came into the squad room. He did a double-take when he saw the blood on Logan's shirt and his cut and swollen lip. "Did you piss off your partner?"

"Yes and no."

"What happened?"

Logan glanced at Eames, who had turned to look at him. "Nothing."

They proceeded on to their desks. Goren looked at his partner. "Nothing, my ass," he said.

He got up and walked over to Logan. "What happened?" he repeated.

"I had a little run-in with Ricky, that's all. He wanted to know where Eames and Maggie are and I told him to bug off. He didn't like my answer, so he took a swing." He grinned. "I had no problem swinging back."

Goren shook his head. "I've had enough of this," he said.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I'm going to take care of it."

"You need help?"

Goren grinned at the hopeful look on his friend's face. "No, thanks, Mike. I've got it."

He didn't say a word to anyone as he headed for the elevators and left the building.


	22. Handling It

Ron Carver looked up from his desk when the knock sounded on his door. "Come in."

Goren came in. "Do you have a minute, Mr. Carver?"

"What can I do for you, detective?" he asked as he motioned for Goren to sit.

The detective sat but he was quiet for a moment before he said, "I'd like you to offer Ricky Waters a plea."

Carver sat back, surprised. "May I ask why?"

He looked at his hands for a long moment before he looked back at the ADA. "I want to spare Eames any more grief."

"She would not be called to testify."

"It's not that. It's just…she's filed for divorce and she'll have to go through all that, and…" he sighed. "To be totally honest with you, Mr. Carver, she doesn't know everything that's been happening, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Explain yourself."

"Barek and Logan have been helping me to…keep everything…quiet. You have the file there. You know what I'm talking about."

"You mean Mr. Waters has been trying to bully you for more than two years now, and Detective Eames had no idea."

"Yes, sir. I never told her."

"Detective, he put you in the hospital shortly after picking a fight with you in the parking garage. According to what Detectives Logan and Barek told me, he tried to start fights with you numerous times. It's to your credit that you didn't fight back, but I have every thing I need here to put him away for a good number of years. Jealousy is a powerful motive, and there are plenty of witnesses…"

"Waters just assaulted Mike Logan because he wouldn't tell him where she is. Mike's already walking on thin ice. I don't want to see him in trouble because of Waters. And I…I would rather spare Eames as much as I can. That's all. Besides, if he accepts your offer, he'll start his sentence that much sooner."

"Are you complaining about your protective detail duties?"

"Not at all. But I'd like it better if no detail were needed. Then she can get her divorce and get on with her life. She and her daughter will be safe."

"Detective, let me ask you this. If he had ever raised a hand to her or her child, would you be here?"

"No, sir."

"If I do this, and she comes to me demanding to know why, I will not lie to her."

"I wouldn't ask you to. I'll deal with the fallout."

"Are you absolutely sure about this?"

"Yes, sir."

Carver sighed. "Very well, then. I'll offer him a plea."

"Thank you, Mr. Carver."

-----------------------------------------------------

Four days later, late in the afternoon, Barek dropped the last of her paperwork in her out basket and looked at her partner, who was making a paper airplane. "You can do the paperwork after our next case," she said.

He smiled. "That's what you said last time. Besides, I finished my paperwork."

"You left three-quarters of it for me to do."

"You're so much better at it than I am."

"I swear, Logan…"

She was interrupted by Eames, who stormed up to their desks. "Where is my partner?" she demanded.

Logan and Barek looked at one another, then back at Eames. Logan shrugged. "Beats me. He left about thirty minutes ago and he hasn't come back. Why? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" She leaned over toward Logan, close enough to make him nervous. "Are you saying you don't know what he did?"

"I guess not, since nothing comes to mind that would have you this pissed off."

"Did you know Carver offered Ricky a plea? Seven to twelve. Do you know why Carver offered it?" They had no chance to answer. "Because my idiot partner asked him to, that's why! Why would he do that?"

Logan shrugged again. "I have no idea. Who can figure out why he does half the things he does?"

"You're sure you didn't know about this?"

"I'm sure." He nodded toward the elevator. "There he is. Go get 'em, tiger."

"Shut up, Logan."

She stormed off. Logan looked at Barek. "Once again, I thank my lucky stars I am not him."

"_Did_ you know about this, Mike?"

"Not a clue."

Eames approached her partner, and he knew she was angry. In a quiet voice that clearly told him she was furious, she said, "Come with me, Goren."

She shoved him toward the elevator. The car came right away, but there were several people already in it, so he was granted a few moments' reprieve. He followed her from the building down to the street and walked beside her, waiting for her to say something. He knew better than to even try to say anything. Finally, she said, "What the _hell_ is wrong with you?"

"You're going to have to be a little more specific than that."

"Why did you ask Carver to plead him out?"

He was quiet for a moment before he answered, "That doesn't concern you."

"The hell it doesn't!"

"The charges he is facing are for what he did to me. I was well within my rights to talk to Carver."

"I'm not disputing that. But _why_? He could have gone up for fifteen to twenty. He doesn't deserve your sympathy, Goren."

"It wasn't sympathy. This was something I had to do, ok? Just trust me."

She was silent as they walked along. Trust him...that had never been an issue. She could feel herself calming down, even though she still wanted to be mad at him. Finally, she said, "One of these days, I swear I am going to kick your ass."

He smiled. "You're welcome to try any time, Eames."

Shaking her head, she punched his shoulder. "You are so damn frustrating."

He laughed. "Are you through being mad?"

"No. But I'm not ready to take you down and beat you any more." She looked at him. "Does this have anything to do with you protecting me again?"

"In a way, but not entirely. Just let it go, please."

As many times as he had done the same for her, just because she asked him to, she finally agreed. "Ok, I'll let it go. But I'm still mad at you."

"Fair enough. We'd better get back to the squad before they send out a rescue party."

She laughed. "You're impossible, you know that?"

"So I've been told."

They headed back toward 1 PP.


	23. Another Postponement

"Eames!" She looked up from her desk. "Line 2."

She picked up the phone. "Eames." She listened quietly for what seemed like a long time. "You've got to be kidding me."

Goren looked up from what he was doing. He could see the storm building in her eyes. Something wasn't right and he would bet even money it had something to do with Ricky.

She slammed the phone down and swore. Without saying a word to anyone, she got up from her desk and left the squad room. Goren glanced over at Logan and Barek. Logan walked over to him and quietly said, "Go on after her and find out what's up. We'll cover for you. It's almost quitting time anyway."

"Thanks, Mike." He headed out of the squad room.

Returning to his desk, Logan sat down with a frown. "Think Ricky filed for another postponement?"

"I'd bet on it."

Since Eames had filed for divorce, Ricky had filed for postponement after postponement, dragging it out as long as possible, simply because he could. It had already been eight months, and Eames was fed up with the whole thing.

Goren had taken the stairs to the parking garage, so he caught her before she got into her car. "If you know what's good for you, Goren, you will step back and let me go."

"You know I can't do that." He took the keys from her hand. "You're way too upset to drive. So we'll go to my place, have some dinner and talk about this."

She was furious, and he was not helping matters any. "Damn you, Goren…"

He gently pushed her around to the passenger side of the car and opened it. She started to protest, but he pushed her into the car. Walking around to the driver's side, he got in and started the car. He looked at her, but she had her arms crossed in front of her and she was looking out the window. "You pout like Maggie does," he commented as he backed out of the parking spot.

She tried not to smile, but he saw her mouth twitch. "She always gets her way with you when she pouts."

"Not always."

"More often than not."

"She's almost three, Eames."

"And she has you wrapped around her little finger."

He smiled. "She always has."

She nodded. "And she always will." She was quiet for a moment. "Damn you," she muttered again.

"What'd I do now?"

"You started talking about Maggie. Now I'm not mad any more."

He smiled. "That's a good thing. I don't like it when you're mad."

"Just shut up and drive, Goren."

----------------------------------------------------------

When they got to his apartment, she sat on the couch while he went into the kitchen. "Not much here," he said. "Hot dogs, macaroni and cheese…"

"All the things Maggie likes to eat," she laughed. "Just order a pizza and get in here."

So he ordered a pizza and sat beside her on the couch. Her thoughts wandered as she looked around the room. Maggie's toy box was by the far wall, and next to it was a small bookcase filled with her books. She loved books. Whether she was here with Goren or at home with her grandpa, every night, Maggie would get one of her books and sit beside one of them, pretending to read. She would look at the pictures and make up stories about them. Once she was ready for bed, she would choose an adult to read to her. When they were at Grandpa's, she would choose him about half the time and her mother the other half. When they were at Goren's, she always chose him.

Eames moved closer to him and rested her head against his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head. "Did he file for another postponement?"

"Yes. Now he wants paternity testing done."

"Why?"

"To cause another delay. He's running out of excuses to put it off."

"Why is he doing this?"

"Because he can. It's another one of his power trips."

He fell silent. He knew how he felt, but he wasn't sure what to say. So he kept quiet. He'd learned that was the best option when he didn't know what else to do.

He got up and went to the door when the pizza arrived, and after they were done eating, he asked, "So what do you want to do? We can go get Maggie and you can stay here, if you want. If you want to go home, that's fine, too." He could never predict what she wanted to do, so he'd stopped trying.

Since Ricky had gone to jail, Eames and Maggie had been staying with her father. They spent a good deal of time with Goren, but Eames was still annoyed that he slept on the couch, so she would let Maggie stay while she went home. She now looked at him with a frown. "Why do you want us here, Bobby?"

"Because I like having you around."

"Me or Maggie?"

"Both of you. Why do you have to ask?"

"Because you just seem uncomfortable when I spend the night."

He shook his head. She just didn't understand. Finally he shrugged. "I just..." Oh, hell, what was the use? He'd explained himself a hundred times, and she still didn't get it. "Never mind."

He started to get up, but she suddenly grabbed his shirt and pushed him back against the arm of the couch. Leaning her body against his, she held her face close to his. "I am fed up with this arrangement, damn it. I hate feeling alone when I'm with you. I hate kissing you, and having to stop before it goes too far. Stop reminding me that I'm married. If you love me, show me, tonight…now…and I promise I'll leave you alone until the divorce is final."

"I don't want you to leave me alone," he managed. "But I…"

"Stop thinking. Just feel for a change."

She pressed her lips and her body against his. She felt him tense, but for once she didn't let him get away with it. And when he finally relaxed, she knew she was going to get her way, at least for tonight.


	24. The Final Hearing

Logan and Barek sat with Goren at the back of the courtroom for the latest of the divorce hearings. It was late afternoon, the last hearing of the day. Ricky was brought in wearing his orange prison jumpsuit. The bailiff walked him to the table where his lawyer was waiting and uncuffed him, stepping away to wait near the door for the hearing to end. He looked over toward the table where Eames sat with her attorney and he grinned at her. She did not smile back. _Cocky__ bastard_, she thought. From the bench, the judge looked at him. "This is it, Mr. Waters. No more delays or postponements. You have dragged this out long enough—this is the final hearing on the matter of this divorce." He opened a file that was in front of him. "The only marital asset is the home. I will order it sold by an independent broker and the proceeds will be divided equally between the two parties. Detective Eames, you are entitled to alimony, but I see you are not seeking any."

"I don't want anything from him, your honor."

"Very well. Now, regarding the matter of the minor child, Margaret Rose Eames." He looked at Eames. "You didn't give the child her father's name?"

"No, sir, I did not." She did not elaborate that she had left the 'father' spot on Maggie's birth certificate blank. He had made it clear he did not want to be a father, so she accommodated him by not putting him on the birth certificate.

The judge didn't comment as he pulled out another file folder. "I see that Mr. Waters has contested paternity during his last bid to postpone these proceedings." He opened the folder and read the results before he looked at Ricky, then at Eames. "Detective, your husband is not this child's father."

Ricky jumped to his feet, face purple with rage. "I knew it! Damn you, Alex!"

His lawyer started to say something, but Ricky punched him and charged toward her. He never reached her; he ran headlong into her partner. Without his friends to help him, Ricky was no match for the bigger detective, and Goren restrained him as two bailiffs rushed forward to take him into custody. As they grabbed his arms, Goren leaned forward and quietly said, "You will never touch her again."

Ricky glared at the big cop. "I should have killed you when I had the chance."

Struggling against the bailiffs, Ricky was removed from the courtroom. Goren looked at his partner before he returned to his seat, but he said nothing.

After the court settled down and the judge made certain Ricky's lawyer was all right and willing to continue, he said, "Detective Eames, we can reschedule this hearing for another day if you prefer that Mr. Waters be here. But since his lawyer is still willing to represent him, we can finish it up and be done with it. The choice is yours."

"I want to be done with this, your honor."

"Very well." He looked back down at the file. "I see from the latest amendment to your petition that you are currently pregnant again. Is this right, Detective?"

_Oh, shit,_ she thought. She forgot that was in there. "Yes, sir."

"Is this child a product of the marital union?"

"No, your honor."

"Very well, then, I believe we are done here. No child support or spousal support will be ordered, and the union is hereby dissolved."

The gavel fell, and Eames looked toward the back of the courtroom. Barek and Logan stood there, waiting for her, but her partner was nowhere in sight.

As she joined them and they headed from the room, Logan said, "He told me he needed some air."

"I'll bet he did. That was not how I wanted any of you to find out about this pregnancy."

"Uh, I know it's not any of our business, Alex, but how did this happen? He's been pretty damn stubborn about avoiding…" He trailed off, not wanting to be crude or to upset her. "I mean, it is his, isn't it?"

"Of course it is. It was only once, but once is all it takes."

"You'd better go and talk to him," Barek said. "We'll be over at Kelsey's if either of you feel like joining us."

Logan touched Eames' arm. "I'm glad it's finally over."

She studied him. "I need to thank you, Mike. Both of you, really…for everything."

"Forget it," Barek answered. "Go find Bobby."


	25. It Was All About Her

She found him in the park where they often found Carver eating his lunch. He was alone on a bench, arms resting on his knees, staring at the ground. She sat beside him, but didn't say anything. Finally, he asked, "She's mine?"

"Of course she's yours."

"But when…?"

"Your birthday…that was the only time…"

He shook his head slowly. "I don't remember."

"What do you mean you don't remember? You weren't _that_ drunk."

He turned his head to look at her. "I mean I don't remember." He sighed and turned away from her again. "Did you know?"

"Not for sure."

"But you suspected?"

"Since the day she was born."

"And you never said anything."

"What would you want me to say? Would it have changed anything? Would you love her any more?"

He shook his head. No, he couldn't love Maggie any more if he tried. "You're pregnant again?"

"Yes."

"And you're sure it's mine?"

"Who else's would it be, Goren? Don't be stupid."

"No. I've already been stupid." He buried his head in his hands. "How did we let this happen?"

She reached out to touch him, but he pulled away. "No," he said, not wanting to offer or receive comfort or reassurance…not right now.

"Is this really such a bad thing?"

Finally he looked at her, anger and pain spilling over into his face. "How can you ask that? You were married, Eames. It's one thing to cheat on your husband, but now the world knows about it. Damn…"

He got up and walked away. She let him go. It was all about her…her honor and her reputation, and he didn't care if that mattered to her or not…it mattered to him. As for the two children…they were something she never regretted. It was the only thing in her life over the past few years that had felt totally right. She called her father and asked him to keep Maggie for the night. Then she called Logan. "Has he called you, Mike?"

"I just hung up with him. He's on his way over here. You want to join us?"

"I don't know…"

"Why don't you let us talk to him for a bit and I'll call you, ok?"

"Mike…do you think I screwed up again?"

"I don't know, Alex. But I don't think it'll matter in the long run. He's not going anywhere. I'll talk to you soon."

She closed her phone and began walking. She paid no attention to where she was going….she just walked.


	26. Letting It Go

Goren slid into the booth across from Logan and Barek. "You look like hell," Logan observed.

"Don't push it, Logan. Did you know about Maggie?"

"No. I mean I knew you and Eames…well, no. I had no idea she was yours. But it makes sense now, looking back."

"What makes sense?"

"Everything. Hell, I've never known a little kid who _thinks_ so much. She's so even-tempered…when she can't do something, she doesn't throw a fit like a lot of kids do, or give up on something like others do. She sits and thinks about it until she figures it out. The stubbornness is her mother's; the thinking, that's all you."

Goren looked at Barek, who shook her head. "No, I never knew either. But I agree with Mike. She's a lot like you, Bobby."

Logan asked, "Do you regret Maggie?"

He shook his head. "Of course not."

"So you found out today that this kid, who has had you in the palm of her little hand since the day she was born, is actually your daughter, not Ricky's, and you're upset? That makes no sense." He looked at Barek. "Am I missing something?"

She quietly said, "What Logan is trying to say in his own charming way is that Alex is free now, Bobby. Maggie is yours, and so's this new baby…it's everything you've ever wanted being dumped right into your lap. No one really cares about the details…no one but you, and you're just going to have to let it go so you can be happy."

He hadn't thought about it that way. Now there was truly no lasting connection between Waters and his partner or, more importantly, the baby. Maggie would make no prison visits see her father, because Waters was not her father. Eames would never have to see him again. He could feel his turmoil calming.

Logan finished his beer. "You're gonna have to let it go," he added. "Or you'll have to walk away. Can you do that?"

He shook his head slowly. No, he couldn't. Looking at Logan, he asked, "Did she call you?"

"Yeah. She's worried about you."

"About me? Why?"

"Call her."

When he hesitated, Barek said, "Do you want her being upset, thinking she's done something to chase you away?"

Logan agreed. "She thinks she's screwed it all up. You need to tell her she hasn't."

He pulled out his phone and called her. She answered on the fourth ring. "Are you ok now?" she asked.

"I wasn't ever not ok. I was angry at the position I let myself put you in, that's all. Where are you?"

"Just walking. Why?"

"Come over to Kelsey's." She didn't answer. "Please."

"I'll be there in a little while."

Twenty minutes later, she slid into the booth beside him. Quietly, she told him, "You did not put me into any kind of situation I didn't want to be in."

He nodded toward her stomach. "How far along are you?"

"Almost eight weeks."

"When did you find out?"

"Early last week."

"That was a hell of a way to tell me," he complained.

"I didn't mean for it to happen that way. I wasn't sure how to tell you, and I was so angry when I filed my response to the last pre-hearing motion he fabricated the other day, I forgot I had put that in it, until the judge read it. I'm really sorry about that."

"When did you plan to tell me?"

"Sometime this weekend."

"Were you going to get him drunk first?" Logan asked.

"I'd thought about it." She looked at Goren. "I also thought about letting Maggie tell you."

He didn't react for a moment. Then he laughed and, sliding his arm around her, he pulled her into a hug. Gently kissing her, he teased, "Coward."


	27. Sirens in the Night

It had been an incredibly long day and Goren was exhausted. Five months pregnant, Eames' duties had begun to be cut back, so her day had not been as hard. She pulled up outside his apartment, and he said, "Get Maggie and come back, at least for dinner."

She was still staying at her dad's, and he didn't argue with her about it. When she felt ready to move in with him, she would. She knew she was always welcome. "Bobby, look at you. You're exhausted. You need to sleep."

He looked at her. "I need to see my daughter," he said softly.

It was only then that she realized it had been two days since he'd seen her. Maggie was missing him, too. "All right. I'll get her and be back. I'll stop and get something for dinner. Chinese sound good?"

"Whatever you want. See you in a little while."

He leaned over and kissed her before sliding out of the car and heading into the building.

He let himself in to the apartment and dropped onto the couch. He didn't feel like doing much of anything. Folding his arms beneath his head, he looked at the ceiling and listened to the rain hit the window. His eyes slowly closed and he fell asleep.

Eames opened the door, holding Maggie's hand. She slipped off the little girl's raincoat before letting her loose in the apartment. "Daddy?"

It had taken her almost no time at all to adjust to calling Goren 'Daddy.' She walked over to the couch where he slept and gently touched his hair. Leaning closer, she kissed his cheek. He opened his eyes and smiled at her. Gently grabbing her and lifting her up onto his chest, he said, "How's my little mouse?"

She giggled. "Good."

Laying down on him, she hugged him. He kissed her head softly before she slid from his arms and ran into the kitchen to see what her mother was doing.

Goren sat up and rubbed his face. He felt a little better. He didn't think much about it when the doorbell rang. Maggie came running as he got up to answer it; she always wanted to know what was going on. Opening the door, he recognized the man on the other side and reacted fast. Turning, he kicked the door shut as he grabbed Maggie and hit the floor. Gunfire erupted, splintering wood as bullets tore through the door into the apartment. "Bobby!"

"Stay there!"

"Maggie?"

"I have her."

As soon as the gunfire stopped, he jumped to his feet, pulling out his gun. "Run to Mommy," he whispered to Maggie, making sure he was between his daughter and the door. Once she was safe, he pulled the door open. The hallway was empty. He ran for the stairs, and as soon as he emerged from the building, more gunfire sent him diving for cover.

Eames grabbed Maggie, who was too terrified to cry, and pulled out her phone, making the "shots fired, officer involved" call. Then she dialed again. "Logan."

"Mike, we're at Bobby's. Someone just shot at us."

"Are you ok?"

"Maggie and I are fine."

"Where is he?"

"He went after them."

"Of course he did. I'm on my way."

Tires screeched as a car slammed to a stop in front of the building. It took an instant for Logan to take in the situation as he jumped out and took cover behind the nearest car, safely dodging two shots. He looked over at Goren, who was keeping cover behind the cement wall of the apartment's porch. "You ok?"

"Yeah."

"Where are they?"

"Over there." He pointed to the place across the street and halfway down the block where the gunmen were hiding behind a new Lincoln.

"How many?"

He held up two fingers. Logan nodded. "No problem."

Carefully, he began to make his way toward the Lincoln. He was halfway to the car when he noticed one of the gunmen was not there. He ducked behind another car and scanned the area, finally finding the second man. He had moved into a position where he could clearly target Goren. Logan swore and aimed. More gunshots erupted in the silence of the night as sirens rose in the distance, rapidly coming closer.


	28. Aftermath

Flashing lights lit up the night as the rain beat a steady rhythm on everything it touched. Goren rolled over on the steps and let the rain hit his face. He turned his head as Logan dropped down onto the steps beside him. "You ok?" he asked.

Logan nodded. "Yeah. You?"

"I think so."

"Hold it right there, both of you," came a voice from the sidewalk in front of them. They both looked toward the voice to see a patrolman with his gun trained on them.

Logan said, "We're detectives with Major Case."

"Let me see your badges--carefully."

Logan moved his jacket to the side to expose his badge and Goren slipped his off his belt and held it up. The sergeant in charge of the scene walked up in time to see the gold shields. He wrote down their badge numbers. "Let's hear it…what happened?" the sergeant demanded. Beside him, the patrolman had not lowered his weapon.

Goren nodded his head toward the building. "I live here. Someone came to my door and started shooting when I answered it."

Logan added, "His partner called me when it started and I came over."

"Where's your partner now?"

"Inside with her little girl. She didn't see anything," Goren answered.

The sergeant said, "I'll need your guns, gentlemen. The other officers are dead."

Logan frowned. "'Officers?' What do you mean 'officers'?"

Goren leaned his head back against the steps. "They were cops. The one that came to my door was one of the three that was with Ricky that time he came by here."

"Eames didn't tell me that."

Goren looked at him. "She doesn't know."

"Shit, Goren…"

"Your guns, please," the sergeant repeated.

Logan slid his gun out of its holster and Goren did the same. They held them out butts first. The sergeant nudged his patrolman. "Put your gun away and take those." To the two detectives he said, "I'll see that your captain gets them."

"Great," Logan answered, not looking forward to _that_ conversation with Deakins.

"Thank you for your cooperation, detectives. Internal Affairs will be in touch with you."

"I'm sure they will," Logan muttered as they watched him walk away with his patrolman. "I'm starting to be on a first name basis with the guys down there."

Goren hadn't moved from where he was on the steps, and Logan looked at him, concerned. "You sure you weren't hit?"

"I'm sure."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Go move your car, Mike."

Logan hesitated. Finally he said, "I'll be right back, and you're going to talk to me, dammit."

Goren didn't answer. When Logan got back to the building, the big detective was gone. He swore and went up to the apartment. Eames let him in. "Is he here?"

"No. What happened?"

"You and Maggie are ok?"

"Yes. She's a little shaken up, but we're both fine. Is Bobby ok?"

"He's ok, Alex. He just...went for a walk. Take Maggie and go to your dad's. I don't know what's going on yet, but I'm gonna err on the side of caution. I'll stay here tonight with Goren. You get going, and I'll have him call you as soon as he gets back."

She thought about arguing, but she knew he was right. She had to make sure Maggie was safe, and she had a little life inside her to protect as well. But the fact that Goren had not come back up to the apartment worried her.

After making sure Eames and Maggie got safely to the car and on their way to her father's house, Logan looked around the street. Most of the patrol cars were gone. The two that remained were waiting for the M.E. to pick up the bodies. He ran a hand over his hair in frustration. Then he headed down the street away from the scene of the shooting.


	29. The Limit of His Tolerance

Logan wandered around the area, but he couldn't find Goren. He made his way back to the apartment, checking around for the other detective's car. He found it half a block away. So he hadn't taken off anywhere. Not knowing what else to do, he went up to the apartment. Finding the door unlocked, he went in and called, "Hey, Goren, you here?"

Goren came down the hall from the bedroom. "I'm here. Where's Eames?"

"I sent her back to her dad's. I figured they'd be safer there, just in case."

"Thanks."

Logan shut the door and locked it. He looked at the bullet holes that peppered the door. "Nice," he commented. "You're gonna need a new door."

"No shit."

"You need to call Eames. She's worried about you."

"She's always worried about me."

"Yeah, go figure."

Goren pulled out his phone and headed into the kitchen as it rang on the other end. Logan took a pillow and blanket out of the closet and tossed them onto the couch. "Damn good thing you have a comfortable couch, you know?"

In the kitchen, Goren leaned against the counter as Eames answered the phone. "Are you ok, Bobby?"

"I'm fine. Are you and Maggie all right?"

"Yes. She's still a little shaken up, and she wants you, but she's ok."

"Give her a hug for me and tell her I'll see her tomorrow."

"What happened?"

"I'll tell you in the morning when I get in. Try not to worry, ok?"

"Easier said than done."

"I know."

"Mike said he was going to stay…"

"He is."

She sighed, and he could hear a slight tremor in her voice. "Alex…" He trailed off.

She waited a moment, but he didn't say anything more. "What is it, Bobby?"

Softly he said, "Just try to sleep, ok? You have to take care of yourself."

"I know. We're fine. I'm going to let Maggie sleep with me tonight, though. She went to sleep crying."

He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't you even go there. I'll drive right back over there and smack you one. Do you understand me?"

He laughed softly. "Good night, Alex. I love you."

"I love you, too. Good night."

He closed the phone and set it on the counter. Logan came into the kitchen. "I need a drink. Getting shot at is not my favorite way of ending a day."

He opened the cabinet over the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle, getting two glasses from another cupboard. "Alex and Maggie ok?"

"Maggie fell asleep crying," he answered.

"Aw, poor kid." He set the two glasses down and filled them. Handing one to Goren he said, "But she's ok, right?"

Goren nodded, taking the glass and heading into the living room. Logan followed him. "What about you? How are you?"

"How do you think I am?"

"You know I hate it when you do that. Answer my damn question."

Goren paced the living room and said, "I'm not ok, if that's what you mean."

"We gonna do something about it?"

"Yeah, we are." He downed his drink and tossed the empty glass to Logan. "Good night, Mike."

Logan watched him walk down the hall and into the bedroom. He set the empty glass on the coffee table and wondered exactly _what_ they were going to do about it.


	30. Interrogation at Rikers

Logan paced the interrogation room nervously. For a change, Goren wasn't the one who was agitated. As soon as he'd realized they were heading to Rikers, Logan had tried to talk him out of it. He'd been half-tempted to wait in the car, but he reluctantly got out and followed Goren into the prison.

Now Logan watched him, leaning calmly against the far wall, just waiting. There was no sign of anger, no irritation…just calm…and that scared the hell out of him.

With a series of resounding clanks, the door was unlocked and opened. A guard led Ricky Waters into the room and uncuffed him. "Do you want me to stay?" the guard asked.

Goren shook his head no before Logan could say yes, and the guard left. With a good deal of effort, Logan settled himself down. The last thing he wanted was for Waters to see how nervous he was. Ricky looked at him, then at Goren. The arrogance was still there. He glared at Goren. "I see you brought your bodyguard along."

"What makes you think I'm here to protect him, Waters?" He leaned across the table toward him. "Maybe he brought me along to protect you…or maybe not…"

Goren remained quiet, studying Ricky closely. Finally he said, "Two of your friends stopped by my place last night to say hello for you."

Ricky frowned. "But you're still alive."

Logan, who was hiding his pacing by seeming to roam about the room, leaned closer to him and said, "They're not."

"Those screw-ups…they deserve what they got, then."

Logan stopped. He looked at Goren, then back at Waters. "Do you even have a heart in there? You're a cold-blooded bastard."

"He hides it well," Goren said calmly. "The mark of a sociopath. You're good, Waters. Eames would never have married you if she had known what you really are."

"That just galls you, Goren, doesn't it? That she married me."

Goren's eyes narrowed. "If you had made her happy, I would have been fine with your marriage."

Logan could feel his stomach knot. Goren was calm…too calm. He watched with apprehension as Goren stepped away from the wall and headed slowly toward Waters, who stood near the table. Logan shook his head. The stupid son-of-a-bitch didn't have the sense to even be nervous.

There was no warning, no change in Goren's demeanor or his movements, nothing to prepare Logan for anything…Goren swung, landing a solid blow to Waters' face. The ex-cop came right back up, swinging and making contact.

Logan swore but he wasn't stupid. He stood by, waiting for the damn guards to get the door unlocked and get in there. Two guards grabbed Waters and Logan buried his shoulder in Goren's gut, slamming him back into the wall and holding him there until he stopped struggling. Goren yelled at Waters, "They could have killed a little girl!"

"So? She's not my damn kid!"

"She could have been. All you had to do was love her mother."

"And how the hell was I supposed to do that when all the time she was in love with you?"

They dragged Ricky from the room, and Goren was still. Logan backed away from him, looking at him and shaking his head. The blood from an open cut under his eye had run down onto his shirt, and he was a mess. He looked at Logan. "Is he right, Mike?"

"About her loving you? Yeah, he's right." He placed a hand on Goren's shoulder and pushed him toward the door. "Let's get the hell out of here. Prisons make me nervous. Besides, we've gotta get you cleaned up. If Deakins isn't looking for us yet, he will be by the time we get to the squad."


	31. The Captain's Office

Logan wasn't wrong. As soon as they set foot in the squad room, Deakins was at his office door. "Goren, Logan, get the hell in here!"

Goren sought out his partner, and he recognized the look on her face. She was furious. He looked away. Deakins didn't make him anywhere near as nervous as she did.

The captain turned on them as soon as the door closed. "What the hell were you thinking, going out to Rikers?"

Logan took the ball and ran with it. "We were following up on the shooting last night."

Deakins stared at him. "Ricky Waters has an alibi."

"They did it as a favor to him, though," Logan replied. "He was behind it."

The captain looked at Goren. "Four years, Goren, and you never went after him. The man goes to prison and you throw the first punch. What the hell is up with that?"

Goren met the captain's eyes. "Maggie went to the door with me. I hated the way he was with Eames, but she put herself into that and she was the only one who could step away. But Maggie…she's innocent. I won't stand by and let her be threatened."

Deakins sighed in frustration. "You're a lot of work, you two. Internal Affairs was all over me this morning. Eames talked to them, and you're lucky that was before she found out what you were up to this morning. You need to make your statements for IAB about the shooting last night. Please tell me you didn't know they were cops."

"We didn't," Logan said truthfully, because he didn't know. A little stretch of the truth wasn't going to hurt anyone.

Deakins looked from one to the other before he continued, "As for this morning…I told the warden you were working there under my authority." He shook his head. "Waters is one step away from solitary. You're both very lucky he's a hothead with a history of fights in the lock-up. If you had thrown the first punch, Logan, you'd be in over your head. Goren, since you have always been inclined to step away from fights, your ass isn't in it so deep you can't get out. Fortunately, it has been left up to me to deal with you. I want you both to stay away from Waters, permanently. You are unofficially suspended for the rest of the week. I won't put it in your records, this time. It's a slap on the wrist, boys. File your reports and go home."

"Uh, are we going to get our weapons back?" Logan asked.

"Yes, but not today. IAB will decide when, based largely on your statements. Make them good, so they won't call you in to interview you." He looked at Goren. "You didn't fire first, did you?"

"No, captain."

"Good. Now get out of here."

They left the office and Logan, catching a glimpse of Eames, leaned toward Goren. "Have I ever told you I'd hate to be you?"

"Once or twice."

"Well, I haven't changed my mind."

They went to their desks. Silently, Goren worked on his statement, deliberately refusing to look at his partner. When he was through, he finally looked up at her. Yep, she was still pissed. He sighed. "I've gotta go. Deakins gave us the rest of the week off."

"It's not a reward, Goren."

"I know."

"I'll deal with you both later. And don't try ducking me. I'll find you."

"Don't worry. We'll be around."

She watched him walk with Logan to the elevators. When they were gone, Barek came over and sat at Goren's desk. "Mike told me what happened."

"What did he say?"

"It was all about the baby, Alex. He was furious that she was ever in any danger, and that's the only reason he went out to confront Ricky."

"What about Logan?"

"Moral support."

"Who threw the first punch?"

"Bobby did. First and only time he ever threw the first punch."

"What are you talking about?"

"You mean you still don't know?"

"Know what?"

She leaned forward. "Never let him know I told you this. Ricky started trying to pick fights with him after Maggie was born. It happened a lot, Alex. Bobby never threw the first punch, never filed a complaint, and he never told you what was going on. Half the time when we told you he got hurt screwing around with Mike, it was really after a fight with Ricky. They always got broken up quickly, and Mike was usually there. You have no idea what went on…and he let it continue, to draw Ricky's anger away from you and Maggie. I honestly think it's because of your partner that your husband never hit you."

Eames leaned back in her chair. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Barek looked at her hands for a minute before she looked back at her friend. "Because I agreed with him, Alex. And I didn't want to see Ricky hurt you."

Barek went back to her desk and Eames looked at the pen in her hand. She turned it over and over, thinking about her partner and everything he had done for her over the course of her marriage. And she had never even known it.


	32. In Trouble

Eames came into the living room at her father's house. "Mommy!"

She caught Maggie in an embrace and kissed her. Maggie pulled back and looked around. "Where's Daddy?"

"He's not here right now."

"Oh," she pouted. She scurried back to the coffee table where she had been coloring.

John Eames looked up from the couch, setting his paper to the side. He smiled at her. "First chance I've had all day to look at the paper. How's Bobby?"

"In big trouble. He went out to Rikers this morning and got into a fight with Ricky."

"It's about time."

"Dad!"

"Well, it is."

She sat down next to him. "How was Maggie today?"

"She's worried about her father. She needs to see him."

"I know. Right now I don't know where he is, and I'm not happy with him…or Mike Logan."

"He just did what he's always done, honey. He's watching out for you and Maggie."

She watched Maggie coloring at the table. She had her father's intensity…and his good heart. She should have gone to his place first; she had to settle this with him. She kissed her father's cheek. "I'll be back later."

Maggie looked up as her mother kissed her. "You getting Daddy?"

"Yes, Maggie. I'm going to get him."

"Don't you want some dinner first?" John asked.

"No, thanks, Dad. I'll eat later." She left the house, got into her car, and headed back toward the city.

---------------------------------------------------------

Logan and Goren entered the apartment, laughing. They were muddy and bloodied, and Logan was carrying a football. "…because you're an idiot, Mike," Goren was saying.

"Yeah, well, at least…" He stopped when he saw Eames sitting on the couch, and so did Goren.

"Don't let me interfere with your bonding," she said.

Logan handed the football to Goren. "I've gotta get going now. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Stop right there, Logan," Eames ordered…and he stopped. She got up and said, "You are both in deep shit with me. How dare you go out to Rikers and get into another fight! What the hell is wrong with you two?"

Logan shut the door and walked over to the couch. "Go ahead, Goren. Tell her what's wrong with us."

"Mike," Eames warned. "Don't you dare get flippant about this or Barek is going to be looking for a new partner."

Goren had leaned back against the door, knowing better than to say a word. He was turning the football over in his hands, waiting for his partner to get done with Logan. She looked at him. "I'm waiting."

"What do you want me to say?"

"What did you solve, Bobby? Do you feel better? Because I don't. When is it going to end? I've divorced him and it's over."

"No, it's not, Alex. He's not going to let it be over. That's not how he works, and I think you know that."

"I am not going to live my life in fear, looking over my shoulder every step of the way! I will not do that!"

She no longer knew who she was angry at, Mike and Bobby, or Ricky, or herself. She was confused, and she hated feeling that way. She felt lost, and she hated that even more. She sank onto the easy chair and just stared at the floor. Goren looked at Logan, who shrugged. Neither of them knew what to do either.

"Alex?" Goren said softly.

She looked up at him. "What have I done?"

He frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"I found out about all the fights."

Goren glared at Logan, who shook his head. "I didn't say a word, I swear."

"It wasn't Mike. Bobby, nothing you do goes unnoticed. How could you think I'd never find out?"

He just looked down at the ball in his hands. She got to her feet. "Why? I really want to know why you never told me. I thought you trusted me."

He looked up. "Trust? This had nothing to do with trust."

"You were protecting me again."

"You and Maggie. Tell me he didn't ease up on you after Maggie was born."

"That's beside the point."

"No, Alex. That is the point. If I'd told you, you would have confronted him, like you did while I was in the hospital. I know you. And he would have taken out everything on you, and Maggie, and I couldn't let that happen."

He was right about that. She would have come unglued and confronted Ricky. And it would have been ugly. "I've told you over and over…"

"I know, I know. You don't need me to protect you. But whether you do or not, I always will."

Logan cleared his throat. "Can I go home now? There's a TV dinner somewhere in my freezer with my name on it and I really need a shower."

"Go on," Eames said. She grabbed his arm when he started past her. Gently, she wiped some of the mud from his cheek and kissed him. "Thank you, Mike."

"For what?"

She met his eyes. "I think you know."

He just grinned. He hit his shoulder into Goren's and said, "Call me when you get up in the morning. Since we were sent to time out together, we might as well make the most of it."

"Try not to get into any more trouble, will you?" Eames warned.

He opened the door and turned to look at her. "We'll do our best."

The door closed and she said, "Somehow, I'm not reassured."

Goren tossed the football into the corner and headed into the kitchen. She stood in the doorway, watching him as he washed his hands and face. "You need a shower," she commented.

"I know. But I need to eat, too."

"I'll fix you something to eat while you get cleaned up." He studied her for a moment. "Well, go on," she said, trying to sound annoyed. "If you insist on protecting me, the least I can do is make you something to eat."

She stopped him before he moved past her out of the kitchen. Reaching up, she touched the bruised laceration under his eye. He winced. Her fingers trailed across his cheek and he turned toward her, pulling her into his arms and kissing her. She said softly, "You're still in trouble."

He smiled. "I know."

He headed off to the shower while she went to fix them something to eat.


	33. A Gift for Him

Maggie was up with the sun as usual. She climbed out of her bed and looked toward her mother's bed. She was surprised to see her there. But she didn't wake her, also as usual. She wandered out of the bedroom, into the living room. And she squealed happily when she saw her father sleeping on the couch.

He heard her before she ever saw him, and he opened one eye when she squealed. He smiled as she ran to him, and he caught her in his arms. Sliding her little arms around his neck, she squeezed as he gently kissed her head. She sat up on his chest and looked at him, her smile turning into a frown as she saw the injuries on his face. She asked, "Owie?"

"Not a bad owie," he answered. "Are you ready for some breakfast?"

"Yes. I want jumbled eggs."

He laughed. "Ok, little mouse. Jumbled eggs it is."

Maggie was playing in the living room when she heard her mother come out of the bedroom. She jumped up and ran to meet her while Goren went into the kitchen to get her coffee. She sat at the table where Maggie climbed up next to her and he set the coffee cup and a plate of eggs in front of her. She looked at him as he sat across from her. "Did you talk to Mike?"

He grinned. "He said to call when I got up, so I did."

"When was that?"

"Sometime around dawn, when Maggie got me up."

"I'll bet you're popular. What are you going to do today?"

"Probably take Maggie to Central Park."

Maggie climbed down from her perch next to her mother and ran around the table to Goren. Sliding his chair back, he set her lightly in his lap and she snuggled against him, content. Eames smiled. There was no pretense at all in his love for Maggie.

Eames finished her breakfast and got up. In the living room, she opened the small gun safe her father had installed many years ago, when she and her siblings were little. She took out her gun and slid it into its holster. "I'd better get going. Take care of Daddy today, Maggie. Don't let him and Uncle Mike get into any trouble."

Maggie ran to kiss her mother good-bye. "Ok, Mommy."

Coming up behind the little girl, Goren grabbed her and lifted her up into his arms. She giggled and squirmed. He kissed her and set her down, watching her scamper back to play. He looked at Eames. "Be careful, ok?" he said quietly.

"Don't worry." She rested her hand on his cheek and kissed him.

"Still mad?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Just checking."

He smiled at her as she left the house, then went in to the living room where he dropped down on the floor to play with his daughter.

-------------------------------------------------------

When Eames got home that evening, her father was in the kitchen making dinner. Goren was asleep on the couch, Maggie lying on his chest, also asleep. She smiled and went into the kitchen. "Rough day?"

"I think Maggie ran him ragged."

"I didn't think that was possible."

John laughed. "There's no doubt she has his energy. How was your day?"

"Boring. We don't like it when he and Mike aren't there."

He looked up from the pan of browning meat. "Jimmy Deakins is a decent man. He could have come down a lot harder on the two of them."

"I know. IAB isn't happy, but since the shooting had all the traits of a hit, they don't have much choice but to return them to duty. They really don't like it when cops kill other cops."

"Did they find any evidence Ricky was behind it?"

She nodded. "The one who came to the door had been out to see him that morning. Ricky's under no contact now. One more problem and he goes to solitary."

John shook his head slowly. "It's never a good thing when a cop goes bad."

"I'm beginning to wonder if he wasn't always bad. He knew exactly how to fly under the radar so he wouldn't be noticed. I know he played me for a fool."

"Don't be too hard on yourself. He fooled a lot of people." He turned the stove off. "Dinner's ready."

She kissed her father's cheek and went in to the living room. Sitting lightly on the couch beside Goren, she touched his cheek, carefully avoiding the bruise that covered his eye. He stirred, opening his eyes and looking at her. She lightly kissed him. "Dinner's ready. Did you two wear each other out?"

"That's an understatement. She's like a hummingbird, zipping from one thing to the next."

He sat up, cradling the sleeping child in his arms. Eames gently took her from him and woke her. "It's time to eat, baby."

"Dinner!" She happily announced, going from sleep to wide awake in a nanosecond. She slid from her mother's lap and ran to her grandfather, who washed her hands and sat her at her place at the table.

Eames smiled at her partner. "I didn't think anyone could wear you out."

He grinned. "You should see Logan."

She laughed. "I can imagine." She rested a hand on his arm before he could get up. "I have something for you."

She handed him an envelope. He pulled out the paper that was inside it, and opened it. Then he looked at her, confused. She explained, "When Maggie was born, I left the father blank on her birth certificate. Since Ricky had no interest in being a father, I wasn't comfortable putting him on it. After the paternity testing, I amended her birth record, and that's her corrected birth certificate."

"You didn't have to do that."

She kissed him. "Yes, I did."

He watched her get up and walk to the table, then he looked down at the paper in his hands. 'Margaret Rose Goren,' the name read. He smiled. He liked the sound of that.


	34. Breaking It to Her

_Jimmy Deakins didn't quite know how to tell Eames about the news he had just received...but Goren would know. They left the squad room... _

In silence the two partners left 1 PP. They headed away from the building, along the same route they had followed when Eames had first told him she'd been pregnant with Maggie. She looked at him, wondering what Deakins could have told him that would have him so troubled.

Finally, he asked, "Did you love Ricky?"

She gave the question some thought. "Yes. I would never have married him if I didn't."

"He said something to me last month…"

When he trailed off, she said, "Something that got you thinking."

He looked at her. Seeing her smile, he let his face relax and he nodded. "You do know that if you had been happy, I would never have had a problem with your marriage."

"Yes, you would have."

"But I would have been ok with it. Eventually." He looked away. "He told me that you were in love with me from the start."

She frowned. "Why did he say that?"

"You tell me."

She was silent for a long time. Finally she said, "I guess he was right. It wasn't something I ever really thought about. I mean, you were my partner, and I was never supposed to love you. But I did…and I do." She thought some more. "He was fine, in the beginning. He was charming and fun, and he was good to me. After the wedding, though, something changed, and I still don't know what. He started trying to control me, and that's something you never tried to do."

"I knew better."

"Yeah, I guess you did. But you always…respected me. You treated me right. I suppose, in a way, he was the one who made me realize that I did love you."

"So I did interfere…with your marriage."

"Without ever intending to. And don't you dare apologize. It was all me, Bobby. It was my mistake from the start."

"We all make mistakes."

"But this one was on a grand scale. Look what it did to you. I…"

He stopped walking, pulling her to the side of the pavement and leaning to the side, to look in her eyes. "What's done is done. Let it go."

"But…"

He shook his head, placing his fingers on her lips. "Let it go."

She was quiet, and she looked away. He waited a minute before resuming their walk. They were both quiet, and finally he said what he'd brought her out here to tell her. "Deakins just got a call from Rikers." Her only reaction was to look at him. "Ricky was killed this morning. He picked a fight with another inmate at breakfast and the guy beat him to death before the guards could stop him."

She looked away, not breaking stride, not saying a word. He left her to her thoughts and walked quietly beside her, waiting for her to speak. After a long time, she did. "I don't know what I'm supposed to feel."

"What _do_ you feel?"

"In all honesty?" He nodded. "Relief."

"I wouldn't have predicted that."

"Why not? He tried to have you killed last month. Even in prison, he couldn't let go of his hatred for you. Do you think he would ever have just let it go?"

He had thought about that. He shook his head. "But, you know, it was just a matter of time before he messed with the wrong guy. Prison isn't a safe place for an ex-cop."

"So you aren't surprised by this."

"No. Are you?"

"Not really."

"And you're ok?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I stopped loving him a long time ago, Bobby." He understood that, and she knew he did. "Do you want to know how I really feel?"

"Yes."

She smiled at him. "Free."


	35. Ruminations

Goren leaned on his cue stick as Logan lined up a shot. "Damn," Logan muttered when the ball banked over the pocket and away from it. He looked up, but Goren had not moved. He frowned as he moved over toward his friend. "Hey, space cadet," he said as he nudged him. "What's up? You've been lost in your own world all day, and that scares me."

"Is it my shot?"

"Not until you tell me what's going on with you."

He looked thoughtful. "Do you remember once we talked about me getting married?"

"Why? You're not thinking about it again, are you?"

He chalked up his cue stick and nodded as he studied the balls on the table. "Yeah, I am."

"I still stand by what I said then. If you're not gonna marry Eames, it's not gonna work. Not for you."

Goren took his shot, sinking his ball. "Who else would I be talking about?"

"I never know with you."

When Goren gave him a dirty look, he laughed. Goren tapped the table with his cue stick. "Eight ball, side pocket." He leaned over but raised his eyes to look at Logan. "So what do you think?"

"I try not to…but since it's you and Eames, I can't see it not working."

"Why?"

"You have what it takes. If you can't make each other happy, no one can."

Goren thought about that as he hit the cue ball and sank the eight. Logan threw his hands up in the air. "I want to play with the girls again. The only time I've stood a chance of winning lately is when I team with Eames."

Goren laughed and tossed him the cue ball, racking up the other ten balls.

---------------------------------------

He took her to dinner at her favorite Italian restaurant. Halfway through dinner, she set her fork down. "All right, Goren. Out with it."

"Out with what?"

"You have been distracted for the past few days. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I've just been thinking."

"About what?"

"You."

She sighed. "What about me?"

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. Opening it, he handed it to her. "That's what," he said softly. She stared at the ring, then looked back at him as he said, "I know you've had a hard time with marriage, and I understand that. But I would like to marry you, if you'll have me."

She shouldn't have been surprised, but she was. "But we're partners…"

"I talked to Deakins. We're ok."

She studied her partner…always keeping her guessing…always surprising her with what he thought and what he did…always putting her first…always…

She looked at the ring again. It was understated, simple…and beautiful…exactly what she _would_ expect from him, for a change. "You have always treated me right…always respected me. You took my daughter into your heart before you ever knew she was yours. When my life was miserable…" She wiped a tear from her cheek and finally looked up at him. "You were the one who brought me happiness…the only one, at times…and look at what I did to you, staying married to the wrong man for far too long, ultimately putting your life at risk." She wiped away a few more tears. "If you can forgive me for that, and still be willing to have _me_…then, yes, I will marry you."

A week later, in a small civil ceremony, they did just that. Logan and Barek stood by them, while her father and Jimmy and Angie Deakins attended. And standing right there, in the middle of everything, where she always wanted to be, was Maggie, making absolutely sure everything went right.


	36. Finally Happy

She rolled over in the bed, but it didn't help at all. So she shifted again…no good. Turning toward the nightstand, she looked at the time. 4:23. Didn't it just figure? Rolling toward him, she leaned over and gently kissed his temple. Softly, she said his name in his ear. He turned his head and looked at her. "What's wrong?"

"It's time."

He kissed her softly and rubbed his eyes. "Ok. Give your dad a call and we'll drop Maggie off with him."

He got dressed and crossed the hall to Maggie's room. He was still adjusting to the bigger apartment. Before waking her, he looked out the window. Great. It was snowing. He went back to the bedroom, where Eames was just picking up her phone. "Forget calling your dad. It's snowing. Call Logan."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. It'll take too long to get to your dad's. I mean, go ahead and call him—let him know what's going on. But we're better off dropping Maggie with Mike."

"Ok."

He went back into his daughter's room and got her dressed. How she could sleep through that was beyond him...but she did. He gently lifted her in his arms and her eyes popped open. "Daddy?"

"It's ok, Maggie. We're going to take you over to play with Uncle Mike."

"But it's dark."

He smiled. "Mommy has to see the doctor about the baby, and we need you to keep an eye on Uncle Mike so he won't worry."

"Oh. Ok."

He carried her out to the living room and set her down while he looked in the closet for her coat. Eames came up behind him. He handed her coat to her and asked, "Where's Maggie's coat?"

"Look in her toy box."

"Why didn't I think of that?"

Maggie was looking out the window. "It's snowing!" She looked at her parents. "Will Uncle Mike play inna snow with me?"

"If you ask him to," Goren answered.

She ran to her room and came back with her snow boots. Laughing, her father helped her put on her coat. Eames smiled, but she was distracted. He came over to her, concerned. "Alex?"

"Let's go, unless you want to practice your emergency childbirth skills in the back seat of the car."

Goren stopped the car outside Logan's apartment and took Maggie out of her car seat. She leaned into the front seat and kissed her mother's cheek. "Get me a good baby, Mommy."

She ran toward the front of the building as Logan came out. He gathered the little girl into his arms as she said, "Daddy telled me we can play inna snow, Uncle Mike!"

Logan smiled. "Sure we can, sweetheart." He set her down and, as she scampered toward the front door, he glared at her father. "You owe me."

Goren tried not to grin. "You got it. Thanks, Mike."

"Yeah. Call me."

He got back into the car. "Everything ok?"

She frowned at him. "Drive, Goren…"

"Right."

By the time they got to the hospital, she was in active labor. They got her settled in a delivery room, and he asked, "Why'd you wait so long to tell me it was time?"

"This one snuck up on me, ok? Besides, it's easy for me to sleep when I know you're right there with me."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. He knew what to expect this time around, but it wasn't any easier for him to see her in such pain. Now he knew, though, what beauty did come from all that pain.

They brought the baby to them, placing the small bundle in his arms. There was no head of dark curls this time, just blonde fuzz underneath a tiny blue cap. "He's smaller than Maggie was," he observed.

Eames reached over and touched the baby's soft cheek. He turned his head toward her finger, mouth open, searching. "But born hungry," she laughed.

This birth had gone faster, and she wasn't as exhausted as she'd been after Maggie's birth. She took the baby to feed him, since he didn't seem willing to wait. Goren rested his forehead against the side of his wife's head and watched his newborn son settle in to eat. "What are we going to call him?" he asked.

"Thomas John, if that's ok with you."

"Thomas…John…for your dad…" She nodded. "Sounds just right."

She turned her face toward his and he kissed her. Logan and Barek had been right…everything he had ever wanted had been dumped right into his lap…and he was happy, truly happy, for the first time in his life.

_Fin_.


End file.
